Famous
by sydney563
Summary: A one shot inspired by the Serena Ryder song.
1. Chapter 1

**N: This was an idea i had while listening to the Serena Ryder song Famous. It is what it is. Enjo** y!

* * *

I smeared blood across my face, my nose was split open and probably broken. I groaned, flicking the blood off my fingers. How many times did I break it? Was this number three? I waved off the EMT's, "I'm good." I stumbled. The punch to the face knocked a few marbles loose, but the dirtbag suffered worse when I took him to the ground. Rolling my shoulders, I winced. I sprained or twisted something.

"Jane!" Korsak bellowed behind me. I stopped, hanging my head down. I didn't want to deal with this now.

"I'm good." I sniffed, blood making it hard to breathe through my nose.

"You need to be checked out. You took a few hard hits." I turned to Korsak. The look on his face told me it was bad. His eyes fell to my bloodied hands. "Where are you hurt?"

He went to reach for my hands, I shook him off stepping back. "I think my nose is broken." I wiped more blood pouring from my nose. "I might've broken a finger grabbing for his gun." My hands shook as the adrenaline began to filter away.

"Jesus Jane." Frost appeared out of nowhere. Korsak left when his name was shouted from the back of the ambulance were the dirtbag was being loaded up.

I frowned. "Please save it. I don't need a lecture, the hovering or a silent rundown of my injuries." I looked up, giving them the patented look of leave me the fuck alone.

Frost never broke from my eyes. "Jane. You just chased an ex-marine, took him down and went three rounds with him. The dude is at least two fifty of solid muscle and you knocked him on his ass. He's out cold with a severe concussion. Of course we're going to ask if you're okay."

"He killed six people. I had to stop him." I clenched my jaw. "I had to stop him."

"Backup was right behind you, I was right behind you." Frost took a step forward, "Please let the EMT's check you over then you can walk away. I won't make you go to the hospital."

I groaned, "Frost." That's when I looked up and caught her running through the dirt in her heels. The panic, the fear was painted all over her face. "Shit." I turned to Frost. "There's no bodies."

Frost sighed, "Yeah, but when the officer down call went out, it went out everywhere. She almost stole a patrol car until Susie calmed her down." He gently took my elbow. "She's scared, Jane." He looked up at me, and with his silent gaze I knew what he was saying. This was my third close call in the last year and it was starting to weigh heavily on our friendship. "Jane, you know she cares about you."

I swallowed hard, stumbling as we climbed out of the small ravine I rolled in with the marine. I looked up and caught teary hazel eyes locked on mine and fighting their damndest not to cry as I limped up. "Maura." I rasped the words out, grabbing onto Frost's arm as I wobbled.

I watched as her eyes took in the sight before her. I knew my face was smeared with blood, my hands looked like Hoyt had another go at them, and my clothes were ripped and filthy. She shook her head, swallowing hard, her mind retreating to the hundred other times I'd thrown myself on the proverbial grenade without a second thought. She stepped back, a tear slipping free. "I can't. I can't keep doing this." She covered her mouth with a trembling hand, turned and half ran back to her car.

A harsh sting stabbed my heart watching Maura run from me. I hated watching her cry. "Frost."

"Don't. You know what I'm going to say. It's the same thing I've been telling you at the end of every night at the Dirty Robber. Tell her how you feel before she gives up on you. Her heart, her love for you can only take so much more of this. You need to tell her you love her just as much, give her something to hold onto in moments like this." He smiled softly as he led me to an ambulance. "Every mountain she climbs is for you."

I gave him a curious look, "How do you know she loves me?" My voice wavered. Frost had blown apart my poorly hidden secret a month ago when he caught me staring at Maura waiting for her outside of the robber. He confronted me the next morning and I admitted over an overpriced coffee in the café down the street that I'd fallen in love with my best friend a long time ago but was clueless what to do. He'd been pushing ever since, but then this case fell in our hands and like always, work came first.

He chuckled. "It's probably the neon sign in her eyes. They light up every time she sees you and practically broadcasts I love Jane Rizzoli." He helped me sit on the edge of the ambulance bumper, sitting next to me and waving an EMT over. "How is it you have no fear when chasing a murderer? No fear taking on the dirt of this earth, and yet, you can't tell the most wonderful woman in the world you love her?" He titled his head his Barry Frost way. "Figure it out Jane and cool down on the superman moves. You're not the only detective in the department and there's a lot of us who'd like to see you go a whole year without stitches."

He stood, "Tell her before you lose her." He winked leaving me to poked and prodded by a tired EMT.

* * *

Two hours later I was standing outside of Maura's door, debating and trying to build up the courage to follow through on my partner's advice. I'd been sent to the hospital to get my x-rays and my nose stitched up. It gave me plenty of time to overthink, analyze and finally admit my feelings. I loved Maura. There was only Maura over the last year. She was who I wanted and maybe it was time to stop being an idiot and do this.

I knocked on her door, wincing at the ache in my right hand. Everything hurt. I'd taken quite the tumble with the marine, so much so the doctor was impressed I only had a broken nose and broken finger. I waited, glancing down at the baggy t-shirt I found in my trunk. There were a few blood drops on it from my nose. "Shit." I turned to go back and change when the door swung open.

"Jane." Maura's voice was so small, broken, tired.

I looked up, trying to smile. "Hey." I went to rub at the scar on my left hand, frowning when the gauze prevented it. "Um, can I come in?"

Maura looked defeated as she nodded and stepped away from the door. "I don't have much time. I have a dinner reservation." She was closed off, throwing up the infamous queen of the dead walls.

"This won't take long." My stomach twisted. Maybe I was too late. "I didn't get a chance to talk to you at the scene."

Maura walked towards the kitchen where her bag sat. "I understand." She fidgeted with her wallet. "You had to speak with Lieutenant Cavanaugh and Sergeant Korsak."

I sighed. When she used titles, she was pissed off. Hurt. "Maur."

"Jane, whatever it is, please say it. I don't have much time for idle conversation. I have a reservation and don't want to be late." She refused to look at me and kept blinking rapidly.

"I'm sorry…"

"Sorry for what? Running into the fire without a second thought or waiting for backup? You knew the suspect was a prone to violence and would fight when chased. And yet, you run in blindly. Not thinking about anyone else." Maura spoke quickly, struggling to contain her anger.

"I had to stop him. If I didn't, he would've killed again." I ran a hand through my hair, grimacing at the dried blood caked around my fingers.

"He would've killed you! Then what! Then what would it all have been for? You'd be dead, and I'd be lost. You never think before you act, which is one of your most admirable qualities, and worst faults, Jane." She looked up, she was crying. "You ever stop and think about the ones who love you? And can't handle watching you skirt the edge of death?" She sniffled. "I can't do this anymore, Jane. I think it's best if you left."

My heart cracked and my temper flared. "What do you mean? You can't do this?" I stepped closer to her, "I did think of my loved ones when I went after him." I was teetering the edge of full blown anger from holding my feelings back and keeping the truth from Frost, Korsak and Maura. "The one person I thought about as I fought him, was you. The one person I love more than anything in this world. You, Maura. You. You're all I think about." I threw my hand up, "He was going to kill more, and we all know our track record has maniacs circling back to us and the last thing I wanted was you to become a target. So yes, I thought about you and threw myself right into the mouth of the fire. Why? Because I love you so much I will give up my life to keep you safe." I blew out a heavy breath. "I love you, Maura. Have for a long time and if you can't do this anymore, fine. I'll walk out that door and we can go back to being friendly co-workers. I'm willing to give up the fame and the glory of being the hero, I'm tired of bleeding all over my good pantsuits. More than that, I'm tired of hurting you and watching you cry because I'm stupid. I know it's a bitch to be my best friend when I do the dumb things I do to keep you safe, and I'll accept it. But you have to know what I feel about you before we call it a day." I paused, Frost's words ringing in my ears. I looked up at Maura, fully crying now. "Every mountain I climb is for you. Every fire I light is for you."

I shrugged, "I'll see you around, Maura." I sniffled, more blood leaking out of my nose. I lifted the corner of my shirt to wipe it.

As I turned to walk away, a warm hand wrapped around my wrist. "Your nasal membrane is irritated and it looks like they didn't correct the broken blood vessel when they reset the bone." Maura's hand came up with a thick towel. She wiped my nose before pinching the side of my nostril. "This should alleviate the bleeding in a minute."

I went to pull my head back. "It's fine. I'll shove gauze up it when I get home." I just wanted to get out of her house, go home and cry in the privacy of my bedroom.

"Jane." She swallowed hard.

I tried to smile, but my heart was completely broken. "Don't worry about it, Maur. My ma will be over the second she weasels what happened out of Frankie. He gave me a three hour grace period."

"I want to build something of our own, Jane." Maura had my full attention, and I looked down at her. She wiped more blood from my face. "I want to take a chance, but I'm scared. I've never loved anyone like I've loved you." She pressed her hand against my cheek. "I love you."

Maura let the three words hang in the air between us for a moment, as if it would be the catalyst and the world would erupt around us. Instead of the world exploding, I grinned. "How long have you been holding that in?"

"Too long." She smiled, "That's why I left the scene. I couldn't stand and watch you bloodied and battered, and be just the friend. Today was the final straw and I made the decision it was better to walk away. It's hard loving you from afar and in silence, Jane." A lone tear slipped down her cheek. "If you died, my world would die with you and I'd have to go back to my solitary life before Jane Rizzoli."

I wiped away the tear with my thumb. "If you stopped being my friend, my world would die too. You're everything I live for, Maura." I smiled as a slow smile crept across Maura's face. I suddenly leaned forward and kissed her, fighting the pain of a broken nose being mashed against her perfect skin. Maura grabbed my hips, pulling me deeper into the kiss. My brain gave me a hard slap for not doing this sooner.

I broke away, my nose making it too painful to continue. Maura wrapped her arms around me, laying her head on my chest. "Could I be enough for you now, Jane?" She asked tentatively.

"More than enough. Maura." I kissed the top of her head.

She sighed contendely, "We still have to talk about you not throwing your life into the fire. You have backup, there are other officers." She leaned back, looking at me. "And why do I have a funny feeling Frost talked to you?"

I chuckled, kissing the corner of your mouth. "You don't guess, Maur."

"Okay, I need to thank him for talking to you. I thought we'd never get here." She ran delicate fingers over my cheeks. "You stole my line."

I gave her a dirty look, "Your line?"

She nodded, "Mhmm. Every mountain I climb is for you. I was listening to a song and that lyric stuck out. I mention to Frost at lunch how do I tell someone that every mountain I climb, literal and figurative is for you. I never mentioned your name though."

"Frost is one hell of a detective." I laughed, shaking my head and looking at the clock. "You should go. Your reservation and I have to face the wrath of ma."

The doorbell rang and Maura slipped out of my arms. "The reservations were a online order from Roberto's Deli." She opened the door, took the large brown bag and tipped the delivery man handsomely.

I sat down on a bar stool, cradling the bloody towel. "Did you just lie to me?" I smirked, "And here I was coming to you with full blown open honesty."

Maura set the bag down, "Roberto's calls their online ordering reservations. I was not lying." She came around the corner, stepping in between my legs and kissing me solidly. "Frost also sent me a warning text you were steaming to my house like a bull in a china shop. It appears Frost is a better matchmaker than Angela."

I squinted, eyeing the brown bag. "Does that mean?"

Maura slid both of her hands along my face. "There's a double cheeseburger and extra fries. I added it on to the order while you professed your love." She smiled softly, "Would you like to have dinner with me? This be our first official date?"

I grinned, pulling her closer by the hips. "I love you, Maura."

She grinned back, "I love you, Jane."

I knew as my wounds healed, we would heal. But I finally had a reason to fully live for and stop playing superman. The love of my life, Maura Isles.


	2. Chapter 2

_N: so i had this idea and decided to expand on the one shot. I'm going to try a dual pov type story. It won't be super happy but it will be Rizzles with angst, love and both sides of what happened to separate them. This will be a slow one to update as i'm still working on other projects and the holidays are coming around the corner. Enjoy! And if you like this, go check out my books on Amazon under Sydney Gibson! They make great winter reads!_

* * *

 _I grinned, pulling her closer by the hips. "I love you, Maura."_

 _She grinned back, "I love you, Jane."_

 _I knew as my wounds healed, we would heal. But I finally had a reason to fully live for and stop playing superman. The love of my life, Maura Isles._

* * *

"Rizzoli, wake up. Your hour is up."

Squinting at the harsh light, I groaned. "Yeah, yeah. Thanks Peters." I swung my legs out of the small cot I took a nap in. Yawning and stretching out the kinks.

"It's a hot one today. The city will be agitated." Peters winked at me. "Welcome to summers in Los Angeles."

I gave him a dirty look, reaching for my black uniform shirt. "It's always hot in this city." I shimmied into my vest and stood, walking out of the small room. Peters chuckled handing me the roster for the shift. "At least it doesn't snow. Here's the details for this tour. We're still on uniform detail and your available supervisor for the next sixteen hours."

I took the roster, scanning it over. "Thanks."

"No problem, sergeant." Peters paused, "Hey, you ever going to tell anyone of us why you left Boston to hump the hot city of angels?"

I kept my eyes on the sheet, shaking my head. "I hate snow." I threw him a professional smile before walking to my desk for the rest of my gear.

"Yeah right." Peters shook his head, "You east coasters are so uptight. Everyone in this place has secrets, I figured since we were partners."

"Don't figure, Peters." I nodded at the clock, "Get out of here before you waste your two-hour break."

He laughed, peeling off his own uniform shirt and vest. "I'll figure it out. I'm a pretty good detective, especially if they partnered me with the great Jane Rizzoli."

I shook my head, chuckling. "There's nothing great about me." I folded the roster and tucked it in my pocket. "I'll see you in a few. Oh, and when do we get out of the uniforms? I'm actually missing the polyester pantsuits."

"Next week. We always go in uniform for three weeks in the summer. Chief feels it keeps everyone humble." Peters winked at me, "Later Rizzoli."

I waved him off, grabbing my gear and heading down to the parking garage to get in my unit. One step outside and the heat took my breath away. This was a far cry from the humid summers of Boston. I took it in stride, getting used to the oppressive heat. I had to, it wasn't like I wanted to go home and Los Angeles seemed the furthest I could get away from the mess I left in Boston.

I started the cruiser, turning the air conditioning on as I checked my equipment. I'd never admit to Peters, but I welcomed the monotony of being on patrol in a uniform. It kept me from thinking. But now as I settled my gear bag in the trunk and I caught the sticker on the back of my clipboard. The Office of the Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts glared back at me in bold blue and white.

I'd stolen the clipboard from Maura as a joke, stuffing it in an old gear bag only to be unearthed a few weeks ago when I needed a clipboard for the patrol car. I couldn't throw it out, if I did, it would've been as if I threw what little I had left of Maura out.

Maura.

I ran a hand over my hair, smoothing out a few stray hairs. The dream I had before Peters woke me was real, vivid and made my heart ache. It was just a dream, a dream of how I wished that day had ended. Not the other way around, the reality of what happened and how I ended up in Los Angeles.

I didn't race after her, professing my love and falling into her arms with a happily ever after. I closed off, let her dictate the pace of our friendship, like always when I fucked up. But our friendship didn't recover, it crumbled away. And soon Maura moved on. She began dating like she was sixteen again and never had time for me. For us. Lunches were spent with the date of the month. Friday night movie night was lost to fancy dinners and overnight guests. In time, we stopped talking unless it involved work.

Maura had built a Jane proof cage around her heart the moment she looked at me and said she couldn't do this anymore and ran from me. I had pushed her too hard, pushed her heart too far and she gave me what I wanted. Freedom to be the bold idiot hero I thought I had to be. It didn't help I was drowning in my feelings for the woman, realizing that day with the runaway marine I was head over heels in love with Maura, but it was too late. I was a dollar short and a day late.

Suffering in my own pit of misery, I had no way out until LAPD called for me to speak at a conference. I went and when the Chief joked he'd make me a Sergeant in Robbery Homicide in a heartbeat, I called him out on it. I went back to Boston to pack my crap and was gone within a week. Saying my quiet goodbyes to friends and family, then leaving without a word to her. A piss poor choice looking back on it, one of many to add to my records.

I sighed, shoving the clipboard in between the seats. It was almost a year and a half ago that I picked up and left without looking back and I was sure if I was happy or more miserable. Sliding into the driver's seat, I logged onto the computer, trying to avoid thinking about the last time Maura and I spoke. It was through text and a week after I landed in LA.

 _Standing in the equipment room, collecting my brand new patrol uniform and the gear, my phone vibrated._

 _Is this permanent, Jane?_

 _I winced, clenching my jaw, debating answering her. But I couldn't ever resist Maura, even if there was a grand canyon sized gap in our friendship, one bigger than when I shot Paddy. I couldn't resist Maura because I was in love with her and she was my only weakness._

 _Yup._

 _I pounded out the three letters groaning as the officer verbally checked off the gear. I watched the bubbles bounce as Maura typed out a response. Making me fidget. I was being a jerk, I knew it. But my heart was broken, and I was emotionally unequipped on how to fix it and own up to my feelings for my best friend. How do you tell someone, your only best friend in the world, that you love them more than just buddies? That you picture marrying them, having dogs, kids and a beach house up in Maine? How would I ever tell Maura I was beyond hopelessly in love with her and it was easier to be a jerk to her than tell her? Never. I'd never tell her. I'd just run with my tail between my legs burning all of the bridges behind me._

 _You didn't say goodbye…_

 _I could see the tears in her eyes wrapped in the tiny font. My heart lurched into my throat, choking me. My hand shook as I stared at the message, I did this for her. I left to give her a chance to breathe, live and stop waiting for the next phone call telling her I was in a ditch, bleeding._

 _There wasn't time. I had a short window of travel._

 _I winced at my shitty words. Turning back to the officer, "Hey, can we hurry this up. I have to meet the Captain in twenty." He gave me a dirty look, rolled his eyes and began angrily stacking department manuals and policies in front of me._

 _You always say goodbye, Jane. Can I call you?_

 _Agitated, my fingers flew along the keyboard, typing without thought._

 _Yeah, well things change. You of all people should know that, Maura. I don't have time for a call. I have a meeting in ten minutes._

 _I shoved my phone in the back pocket and ignored the incoming vibrations. I waited until late that night to look at the phone. Deleting her messages without reading them before switching all of my contacts over to the new work phone I was issued. Leaving Maura out._

I swallowed hard driving the cruiser out of the garage. I was horrible to Maura and two months later I went to call her when I read one of Frost's weekly update emails and he mentioned Maura was in a serious relationship and planning to take a leave of absence to Paris. Following through on plans we made, but I shit all over and Paris never happened.

Being the snoop I was born to be, I dug around until I found my final answer. Maura had a boyfriend. A rich, intelligent, lovely handsome doctor boyfriend who appeared to love her, and she him. The pictures of them together, Maura looked happy, content. It was all I needed to close off that part of my heart and move on. Ma tried to talk me, berate me, but I stood strong. Telling her that ever since passing up the FBI job, I needed to branch out and now was the perfect time. I told her it was my semi middle age life crisis. Her retort was I was barely forty and that I needed to fix my friendship with Maura. In time, Ma gave up when the silent treatment when it came to the blonde medical examiner was too infuriating.

And by moving on, I threw myself into work and creating a new life in the city of angels. Lucky for me, the work was abundant, and no one cared if I worked triple homicide cases and never went home for days aside to shower and change clothes. The great Jane Rizzoli of Boston was just Rizzoli in Los Angeles. Another cog in the wheel. I secretly hoped I would work myself into oblivion and in time, forget the constant Maura sized hole in my heart.

Maura was happy. She was loved and she would never have to spend nights wondering if I was on the verge of death or dismemberment. She could move on and forget about me.

Who cares if she was the love of my life and I would never love anyone like I loved her.

Rolling down the window, I let the summer heat chase the shivers away as I stared out on the incredible amount of traffic. The radio was already bumping with afternoon car accidents and minor domestics. I knew in another hour I'd be going eighty to the bar as the calls rained in. It would be welcomed, it would give me a reprieve from my thoughts and memories.

"6L20, you're needed at La Cienega for a TC with injury." The monotone dispatcher's voice broke my thoughts.

I grabbed the radio, "6L20 responding."

I pulled a U-turn and headed to La Cienega, knowing this would be the first of many accidents along the boulevard today.

In five minutes, I arrived on scene. The paramedics right behind me. Fired was already working on the worse of the two cars, possibly an extraction. I hopped out and was flagged down by the other responding officers. Throwing on my aviators I hustled over, "How bad is it?"

"Hey Sarge, the driver of the other car is hammered. I need you to run the field sobriety with me. I want to make sure this is air tight. The fucker is being cocky and throwing his money around."

I huffed, "Of course." That was the one thing I hadn't gotten used to. Los Angeles ego. Everyone had money, everyone knew someone and wouldn't hesitate to throw it in my face to get out of a ticket or being arrested. I nodded at the other car where the paramedics where leaning in. "What about them?"

"Neck injury, facial lacerations, and a broken leg. A doctor was on scene when we arrived and doing a far better job at triage then we were. We backed off and provided traffic control. Chabon is over there standing by."

"Good job Reagan." I went to step away to deal with the drunken slob leaning on the back end of the black and white like he owned the god damn city, when I heard a familiar voice that sent shivers through my body. I paused, cocking my head to listen.

"There's a tibial fracture, and a possible subdural hematoma. This woman also is fighting off bouts of vasovagal attacks from the sight of her own blood."

Vasovagal.

I knew that word better than most. It was as common to me as bro, dude, or yo.

And I knew the voice wrapped around that fifty dollar word. I clenched my jaw and looked in the direction of the second car.

Maura was brushing long honey blonde hair from her face with blood splattered hands. Her bright blue designer dress was splattered in blood and she was in charge of the scene. Directing the paramedics and using her professional tone, the one that scared me the few times she used it on me.

It was as if the world fell into slow motion. There was only Maura. I stared, absorbing how beautiful she was and how time only added to it. My hands started to shake and I was about to step away when Maura's hazel eyes found mine and locked on like a heat seeking missile.

Fuck.

Maura turned away from me, focusing on the woman as the fire department and paramedics removed her from the car. I took the moment and walked over to my officer, getting lost in the field sobriety tests and nailing this drunk asshole to the wall.

The asshole failed within the first three minutes of the test. I let him keep going and running his mouth, knowing it would just add to our case and his charges. "Regan, lock him up. We got enough to make sure he won't be driving his Jaguar for a few years."

Reagan smirked and handcuffed the guy, "Sounds good, Sarge."

I smiled and went to turn to walk back to my patrol car to begin the paperwork when I smelled her perfume. That fancy one that took half a paycheck to buy her a bottle for Christmas.

"Excuse me, Sargent Rizzoli?"

My jaw clenched tighter as I turned to face Maura Isles for the first time in a year and a half. She brushed hair from her face, trying to desperately find my eyes behind the sunglasses. I cleared my throat, opening my mouth to speak when a hard slap met my left cheek. Pushing my sunglasses off on an angle.

"That's for not saying goodbye, Jane." Maura's hazel eyes welled up with tears and the sight broke my heart and hurt more than the healthy slap to the face. She licked her lips, "I'm sorry." She shook her head, stepping back as Chabon came rushing up to me. Panic in his eyes. I held up a hand, waving him off as Maura turned away, mumbling about having to give a witness statement.

I could've sucked it up, let her walk one way and I back to my car. Suck up the well deserved slap and ignore the fact my heart was beating with purpose for the first time since I left. Instead, I gently grabbed Maura's elbow, sighing softly at the way her soft skin was still warm, "Wait."

She froze looking over her shoulder at me, green teary eyes soaking up the sun.

It was now or never. This was a sign. It had to be. And I had to take advantage of it.

I cleared my throat, pulling off crooked sunglasses. "I can take your statement."

I saw something shift in Maura's eyes. Shift past the fiery anger I caused, and to something that looked hopeful.

The sight made me swallow hard and try to push my heart back down. "Um, follow me, please."

Maura hesitated before gently removing her elbow from my grasp and folding her arms across her chest as she nodded and followed me to my car.

I laid a hand on my stomach, pressing down as the need to vomit rose quickly.

I was about to have more than a three second conversation with the woman I loved, I prayed I wouldn't fuck this up.

* * *

N: Yes I'm very aware this says complete when it's not. No I'm not changing at because I have no clue how long this story will be or how fast updates will come. It was meant to be a one shot then I became inspired and decided to write more. So please be patient and relax while I work on it and a million other things in life, I promise it might be worth it.


	3. Chapter 3

**N: here's Maura's pov. It explains a few things, but we'll get more into it as this story moves along.**

 **Yes i know this story is marked as complete. No i will not be changing it back per the nasty requests of a particular reviewer. I'm leaving it marked complete because as i said before, this will be very slow to update and the chapter length is unknown. It could be one more and done, or i could keep adding additional chapters mixed with one shots. It's up to my creative mind to dictate and if i have enough free time. Plus i don't really bend to demands, it actually makes me want to do the opposite. Anyways, thanks to all who are reading and enjoying. I didn't plan this to go this far, but when the wind blows in your favor...**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Maura**

"The vehicle behind me was at a stop since it was a red light for our lane of traffic. Forty five seconds later, I heard a loud crash and the car veered to the left, grazing the drivers side of my rental." I sighed, fidgeting with the edge of my skirt. "I immediately rendered assistance while another witness called 911." I was doing my best to stare out the windshield and not at Jane. Taking a breath, I frowned at the gentle breeze carrying Jane's shampoo over. I sucked in a breath, "The victim had a fracture to her tibia and a laceration to her left temple."

"Maur, I don't need the full medical breakdown." Jane's raspy voice sent shivers across my skin. Her nickname for me reigniting my heart. "Did you happen to witness the driver of the other vehicle?" She reached over, turning down the air conditioning, thinking that was the cause of my shivers. If she only knew.

I nodded, "Yes, he stepped out of the car and fell to the ground. I rushed to him, smelled an overwhelming odor of alcohol. He shoved me off and tried to run from the scene." I cleared my throat, focusing on the facts. Facts I could do. Emotions, no. Not in the slightest.

Jane shifted in her seat, pushing up the sunglasses. "But when Chabon arrived on scene, the guy was compliant, leaning against the passenger side door."

I felt her eyes on me. Those big beautiful brown eyes that looked through my walls and straight to the softest parts of my soul. "Yes. When he attempted to flee, I tripped him and then looped his belt through the door handle of his car." I tilted my head down, blushing as Jane chuckled. The sound made me want to grab her and never let go. It also made me want to run out of the car and never look back. It'd been a year and a half since I was this close to Jane Rizzoli and it shook the rigid foundation I built in her absence.

God, did I miss her.

"Excuse me, Sergeant Rizzoli, but do you need anything more? I have to check in to my hotel before they charge me a late check in fee." I looked up and caught Jane staring at me and frowning at my attempt to keep this professional. Her eyes drifted down to my left hand to land on the white tan line where a ring once sat. Turning away, I tucked my hand under my thigh.

"I just need you to sign and you're free to go." Jane handed over her metal clipboard. When I grabbed it, I spotted the blue and white sticker of my office emblem.

I smiled softly, "That's where this went."

Jane shrugged, "You can take it with you, just leave the paperwork inside. It took me forever to make copies of everything. The office equipment is older than Korsak." Her eyes dipped to my finger again.

I scribbled my signature and handed it back. "I think it's found a more useful home with you." I smiled, "It's nice to see you kept a little bit of me..um…home with you."

Jane's jaw clenched as she tore off the sheet and shoved the clipboard with force under her seat. "I think that's it Dr. Isles." She exited the car, yanking up her heavy gear belt with a huff.

Tipping my head down at her use of my title, I picked at the dried blood on my skirt. Jane's anger towards me had not lessened in our time apart. I'd hoped otherwise, but Frankie had sworn up and down that Jane was like an old dog with a bone, never letting go. It had taken me at least three months for my big brain to compute that the reason why Jane left was because she had feelings for me, and the reason why I shoved her away in the days following her last on duty injury was because I was in love with her. I was in love with Jane Rizzoli in ways I'd never loved before and it choked me. But the latter happened before the former. The realization hitting me as I sat on the floor next to my bed, having cried myself to exhaustion ignoring Jane's numerous calls to tell me she was fine. That the giant marine had suffered worse than her broken nose and bruises.

It was the slow realization as I cried that my heart poked it's head out and clued me in. Jane had been injured a million times, and a million times it hurt more than the last. It was the fear, the panic, and the relief mixed with pain as I saw her climb out of that ditch. Bloodied and battered. I broke, and ran. It was the stupidest thing I'd ever done, but with all of my intelligence, emotional was a severely lacking section. Having been raised to control my emotions, I buried my feelings and tried to move on. Thinking if I put distance between my best friend it would allow my heart a change to settle down. Instead it grew bigger and fell deeper in love with Jane.

I tried. I tried so hard to move on. Jane wasn't in love with me, she was a fierce woman who loved strong men. Not an awkward doctor who understood the complex chemical structures of almost anything, and yet had have to the simple things explained to me.

Then Jane blindsided me and never came home from her Los Angeles conference. She snuck in under the cover of darkness, packed and left. Angela blurted it out to my face the next morning when she dropped off Frankie's lunch. I kept a tight smile and neutral face as my heart tumbled into the pit of my stomach and broke into a thousand pieces. I finally grew the confidence to message her late that night, desperate to salvage whatever was left of our friendship.

Then a few days later, her phone was off. The robotic voice telling me the cellular customer I was trying to reach was no longer in service. I cried at my desk that night, so angry and heartbroken. Promising myself I'd forget Jane Rizzoli.

Three months later, Frankie walked in through the kitchen with a box of stuff Angela had sorted from Jane's apartment before Tommy moved in. The box contained random old t-shirts, sweat pants and hats Angela thought I could donate to Hope's clinic. As I was washing the items, I found a small metal tea tin in the bottom. I opened it up to find old ticket stubs, pictures and ratty post it notes. My eyes welled up as I recognized the ticket stubs from when Jane and I went to the movies. The pictures were from one of those silly photo booths at the mall and the post its held my handwriting, asking her to meet me for lunch. There were hundreds of them and I remember sticking all of them on her desk, reminding Jane to eat when she was elbow deep in a tough case.

I clutched the scraps of paper. Jane loved me. She was in love with me and I was too stuck in my own fear to see it. Too stuck and too stubborn.

After that day, I tried to track Jane down and found her through a colleague in the LA County coroner's office. They filled me in on Jane's promotion and move to the prestigious robbery homicide division where she was thriving. They also gave me the gossip. Jane was dating another sergeant in vice and appeared to be incredibly happy in this new chapter of her life. My colleague even gave me a link to her boyfriend's social media page. Jane was happy in the California sun with the handsome detective.

Jane had moved on. Leaving Boston and me in the past.

I cried over Jane Rizzoli for the last time that night and neatly tucked away my love for her deep into a part of my heart to never be opened. Time didn't heal the wounds, it just covered it with a thick scab hoping one day I could forget her enough to let it heal over.

Then I received a call for a consult and flew out a day earlier to enjoy the sun as winter hit Boston hard. I also needed to get away as my life crumbled apart. I ran a finger over the tan line on my left hand, at least I didn't waste more of his time.

Then fate intervened and I found myself jumping into the accident to help with no clue that I just might run into Jane in a city with a population of four million people. And how do I react at seeing the woman I was still ridiculously in love with? I slap her like a broken hearted teenager.

"Maura? Are you okay?" Jane opened the passenger door, leaning forward. "You've been sitting there for about four minutes. Did you want the paramedics to check you out?"

I shook my head, climbing out of the car. "I'm fine. I think it's jet lag." I smoothed out the wrinkled dress, meeting Jane's eyes. I blushed when I saw the faint red marks from my hand on her cheek. "Oh Jane, I need to apologize for slapping you." I wrung my hands nervously. "I guess it was a knee jerk reaction from seeing you after all this time and my stupid unfounded anger towards you."

Jane shrugged, "That slap had some bite to it, you really have been spending a lot of time with ma. She's got a mean slap." She paused, looking in my eyes. "I didn't say goodbye. You're right." She sighed, looking over her shoulder. "Look, I have to open traffic back up. Is your car good to go? Or do you need a ride back to your hotel?"

"I believe it's fine." I chewed on my bottom lip, before blurting out. "Can I buy you lunch as an apology for slapping you?" Now that Jane was in front of me, I was desperate to hold onto her for a few more minutes. Maybe explain my behavior and that I was still in love with her. God I was still in love with her, and it didn't help the LAPD uniform looked a million times better than her BPD one. My heart raced, begging me to spill my guts now that I was single and the only person it ever wholly wanted was standing in front of me. I had to bite my bottom lip to hold back the awkward profession of love dancing on the tip of my tongue.

Jane's brown eyes locked on mine, a tiny spark flickered across them. The same tiny spark I'd seen a thousand times when we were alone, and I caught her staring at me for a minute too long for just friends. "My lunch is at least another four hours away. That's if the city can keep it's shit together."

I stepped away from the car and moved towards my rental. Jane instinctively walked a step behind me and as I went to cross, her hand fell to the small of my back for a split second before she caught herself and laid it on her gun. I swallowed hard, "I understand, Jane." Her name felt foreign, yet so much like home when I spoke it. Opening the driver's side door, I leaned in and grabbed the airport luggage tag I ripped off from my carry on along with a pen. I scribbled my hotel information and phone number. I had hopes Jane would call and I could save her new phone number. Giving me the smallest link back to the woman. "I'm at the Four seasons. If you do get a moment, they have a nice bacon cheeseburger." I held it out to Jane, my hand shaking. I smiled, catching Jane's eyes. "It's been too long since we talked Jane, I think we need to." I wanted to pat myself on my back for pushing my anger and fear down. I missed Jane and fate was handing me a second chance. "I'm here for the week on a consult." I watched the corner of her mouth tug. It always did that when Jane was trying to hide her excitement.

Jane hesitated for a second before she took the small tag. "We'll see. It's been a week of busy nights." She pressed the tip of her thumb against the tan line on my ring finger. "Don't go into bars without your ring, Maura. The men will flock to you like a bear to honey thinking you're easy with your morals." She stepped back, dropping her hand from mine. I saw the smothering sadness cross her face.

I grabbed her hand, squeezing her fingers. "Jane, please. There's a lot I have to say to you." I swallowed the lump in my throat, blinking back tears. "I've missed you and was so very ignorant to my feelings…" I shivered again even as the oppressive heat had me sweating through my dress as I stood in the hot sun. I was ready to lay it all out to her. My feelings and the end of my engagement because every time I pictured my perfect wedding, it was Jane standing in front of me. No one else and I was tired of living a lie just to appease whoever I thought I had to appease. I couldn't rightfully enter a marriage with a heart stolen by the tall police detective squinting in the sun. I honestly didn't even want Jane to give it back to me, I just wanted to know she had it and would forever hold my heart.

Jane shook her head, stepping out of my grasp. Her eyes welling up. "I have to go." She waved over her shoulder, "Traffic is backing up."

I nodded and climbed into the driver's seat of the car. I watched Jane open up the lanes of traffic before climbing into her cruiser and speeding off.

I let out a slow, steady breath. At least I tried, Jane just wasn't ready for my apology or explanation of why I did what I did. I drove away fighting tears.

* * *

 **Six hours later-**

After a long hot shower and a quick nap, I was unpacking. Balling up my blood stained dress and double bagging it so I could dispose it at the medical examiner's office in the morning. Walking around in my yoga pants and old t-shirt forgoing contacts for my glasses. I grabbed my briefcase to start reviewing the homicide cases I was brought in to consult on. I also wanted the distraction to keep my mind off Jane. She hadn't called and I was slowly giving up hope. Jane rarely did well when caught off guard, I knew that going in with my lunch invite, but couldn't resist. I curled up on the small couch and turned on the large TV, changing channels until I stopped on a classic movie channel.

Halfway through the second case file, there was a knock at my door. I frowned, sliding off the couch. I'd forgotten to put he do not disturb tag out. I opened the door, fixing my glasses as I smiled. "I chose the reuse option on my room towels and have passed on the turn down service for tonight."

"You know how much bacteria is in a hotel towel? Did you know the bathroom towel is one of the most germ infested items in the home?"

My eyes widened at the sight of Jane leaning against the door frame, smirking. She was out of uniform, dressed down in a pair of old jeans and a ratty Boston Red Sox shirt. "It's like a billion germs per square millimeter."

I grinned, fixing my glasses. "That's actually accurate. And for your information, there's twenty towels at my disposal in that bathroom. I can use a fresh one each morning and still have plenty left." I tipped my head down, "Hello Jane."

I heard Jane suck in a breath through her nose, "Some jerk thought it would be a good idea to run down La Brea smashing car windows then run into the tar pits and got stuck. We had to call in the fire department crane engine to get him unstuck. Um, my lunch hour was a bust" She jammed her hands in her pockets, "But are you hungry? I know a taco place around the corner that's pretty quiet. And the food is outstanding."

My heart skipped as I nodded. "I'd love that. Let me go change."

"Don't. I like you like this Maura. It. It reminds me of the old days." Jane rasped the words out.

I grinned, my heart swelling. Fate was back in my corner. "Can I at least grab my purse?"

Jane smiled, "Of course. Maura Isles isn't Maura Isles without her purse, but leave it and grab your wallet. I want to keep this casual."

As I turned to grab my wallet, I heard Jane mumble. "Relax, Rizzoli. Relax."

I grinned, she was as nervous as I was. It gave me hope I could fix this and maybe get my friend back. "So, Jane. Tell me more about this tar pit rescue. I've always wondered what would happen if someone fell in them."

Jane chuckled, falling to my side as I locked the hotel room and started walking towards the elevator with her. She easily fell into her storytelling ways, and I easily fell deeper in love with her.

God did I miss her and this.

And God did I want her back.


	4. Chapter 4

**N: I had a few moments to work on this. I want to get it up before i dive into the world of edits for my book and will be missing for a few days or so. I decided to go with Jane's POV this round and it went where it went. Like most of my stories they kinda write their own direction and i follow. The next chapter will be Maura's pov and her response to whatever Jane is about to tell her. I still have to think how that will play out...**

 **Anyways! Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Jane**

It was impossible to keep my eyes off her left ring finger. There was a story in that white tan line and the detective in me was roaring to investigate it. Maura eventually noticed and tucked her hand in her pocket with a polite smile.

I sighed. Maybe this was temporary insanity to do this. Show up at her hotel and take her out to dinner thinking we were friends again. To my credit, I fought the desire all shift long. I even took a stupid vandalism report to drag the shift out another hour. But I couldn't stop thinking about her and how incredible she looked handing over her phone number. Only Maura could still look beautiful in a blood-spattered dress.

Which made me think of the man behind that white tan line. I tried searching the internet and only found society pictures of Constance and the Isles foundation. Maura looking beautiful in all of them, but alone. I did spot a large diamond ring on that left finger. A fairly sized one and it left me debating throwing her number away and picking up another full shift.

Jealousy. It's a bitch when it gets into your blood. It was another feeling tied to the woman next to me I was unaccustomed to. I was never jealous. I never had a reason to be. If I wanted something or someone, I worked my ass off for it. But Maura was that one factor I couldn't navigate with my careless bravado, or tactful techniques. I was jealous of the way people looked at her. The way men could sneak their way into her heart, and eventually her bed. There had been days I was jealous of Bass and the loving attention she showered on him. I was jealous of the man who placed that ring on her finger and was about to take her from me forever. I frowned, huffing at how ridiculous I sounded. I walked away from her. I didn't have room to be jealous.

"Jane? Are you okay?" Maura's hand fell to my forearm.

I flinched ever so slightly, having gone back to my ways of avoiding all human contact whenever possible. Maura's smiled faded as she put a small amount of distance between us. "Yeah, I was just thinking about your turtle. Is he still banging into furniture and scaring that crap out of ma?"

"Yes, Bass is still around. Angela has adapted to his movements and just steps over him." Maura chuckled. "She even got him a Christmas gift. A lovely new feeding mat."

"What a lucky guy." My heart ached. I had skipped Christmas last year when the invite landed in my mail slot. It was being held at Maura's house and when I checked out the evite to see who was going, I saw her doctor boyfriend had posted a lovey dovey message about making this the best Christmas ever. I called ma, told her I couldn't get the time off since I had low seniority and sent gifts home. As a last thought, I threw a small one in there for Maura. It was stupid and I was drunk, feeling sentimental. I had bought her a LAPD badge charm to match the BPD one I bought her for her last birthday. She'd worn that one everyday and my drunken sappiness wanted to silently tell her she was still heavily in my thoughts and I wanted to be there with her.

But as I looked at her necklace, I saw neither. Another sign I'd been slowly removed from her life.

"I'd say I'm the lucky one. Bass has been a wonderful companion over the last few months as my life has changed." Maura smiled, waving towards the taco stand ahead of us. "Is this the place? El Charro?" She glanced at me with wide hazel eyes.

"Yep. My first partner in Robbery Homicide was addicted. We'd have lunch here at least three times a week." I laughed, shaking my head. "I think I gained ten pounds that first month. I had to go down a few notches on my belt." I patted my stomach. "I had to fight my new found addiction with salads." I smirked at Maura, "You'd be proud. I now eat salads and vegetables twice a week."

She nudged me with her shoulder. "I'm impressed, but I've always been proud of you Jane."

I read easily between the lines. Had been since she sat next to me in the car and dropped the line about taking a little piece of her with me. I sucked in a slow breath, guiding Maura over to the nearest table. I was confused trying to sort out the tiny clues she was dropping. "Sit. I'll go order for us."

She nodded as she wiped the table top with a napkin. The sight made me smile, always the germ freak. And to think she spent her days digging in dead bodies.

After ordering a wide selection of tacos, I sat across from Maura. The awkwardness was thick and heavy. I went to clear my throat when she spoke.

"Why didn't you say goodbye?"

I sighed. Maura was never one to skirt around things. Her genius brain made it impossible for her to be devious or manipulative. I began rubbing the scar on my right hand, my jaw twitching. I knew this was coming, just expected it to happen three tacos in. "Maur."

"Jane, Please. I know you showing up at my room is your inherit Italian manners showing. Your mother would be incredibly upset if she found out we'd run across each other at the scene and that was where it ended. She would call you incessantly for a week, holding guilt over your head like a concrete block. So this dinner is just courtesy, but I took it fully acknowledging I may only have this night to repair whatever damage I caused that had you leaving me without a goodbye. A three-thousand-mile divide separating us." Maura's eyes welled up as she tipped her head down. "What did I do for you not to say goodbye to me?"

Digging fingertips into the rawest part of the scar, my stomach twisted. Maura was dead on. Well, half dead on. It was ma's impending guilt trip and the fact my heart missed Maura. It craved her and as much as I wanted to drown the feelings in cheap beer in my apartment, my heart wanted to swim in everything that was Maura. Her smile, her scent, her wavy honey blonde hair, and the fact she understood me. Something I hadn't thought of when I moved away. No one in the department understood my gruff ways, or that I never wanted to be touched or talk about the scars on my hands. They took my sweeping mood swings and ignored me as much as possible. As long as I was clearing cases, no one could give a shit about my personal life.

I curled my hands into fists and tucked them under my legs. "Maur. You know what happened." I tipped my head down to study the label on a hot sauce bottle. "I needed a change of scenery." I shrugged, not wanting to go any further. If I did, the truth would slip out. "Korsak was retiring. Frost was talking about applying for his Sargent spot and I was drifting along. I had no planned future other than waiting for the next dead body." That was a lie. I had a future fully planned out. One that involved Maura by my side forever. A nice house outside of the city with a big yard. I'd teach at the academy while Maura stayed on as Chief Medical Examiner. We'd spend weekends together, she'd write. I'd watch her, and then one Sunday morning I'd ask her to marry me over toast. Then came kids, dogs, and blissful silence where the only thing I had to worry about was shaping new recruits.

A week before my last injury that set the shit storm into motion, I'd made the decision to tell Maura my feelings and start the fight for the future I dreamed of. But then I pushed her last button.

"You know when you lie, you look down to the left? It's your tell, Jane. I noticed it at my first Rizzoli dinner when Angela kept asking when you were going to take Joey Grant up on his dinner invitations." Maura was organizing a pile of napkins, her tone was the firm doctor one she used in the days after I shot Paddy. The one tone that pissed me off because it was her being politely rude. "You're doing it now. So I'm going to ask you not to lie. However painful the truth is, I can handle it. I know something happened between us, and I'd like you to tell me so I can fix this." She looked up, her eyes glassy.

I nodded. "You changed, Maura. You walked away from me that day as I climbed out of that stupid ditch. Then you disappeared, treating me like I had the plague. You put up those big ole queen of the dead walls and I couldn't climb them. Our friendship broke and quickly died because I didn't know what I did wrong, and we both know I'm shit at keeping plants alive. I gave you what you wanted and left. You'd made it clear as day there wasn't room for me. I took the first out that came my way and the more miles I put between us, the better. You wanted to move on from me and the danger I seem to attract, so I gave you all the room in the world to do just that." I clenched my fists as the pent up anger of a year and a half came spilling forth. "I didn't say goodbye because you made it pretty damn clear you didn't care anymore, Maura. You didn't care about us, our friendship." I stood up from the table just as the tacos arrived. I dug in my wallet throwing a few bills down on the table. "I knew this was a bad idea. I'm sorry if I guilted you into anything."

Stepping back, I looked away from Maura as my heart screamed at me to stop being stupid. "Go home to him, Maura. Work out your problems and marry him. You don't need my blessing or approval, and I probably won't be able to make the wedding. You don't need me." I whispered the last few words out as I jammed the wallet back into my pocket. "And whoever he is, he's one lucky son of a bitch to have you."

I started walking away, maybe I'd go in and pick up the last half of a midnight shift. There was no way in hell I'd be sleeping tonight.

Ten steps away, I heard Maura's voice right behind me.

"You're right, I didn't just care. I never cared for you, Jane." Her tone was fierce, livid as she continued walking after me. Half jogging to keep up with my long strides.

"Maura." I shook my head, still walking. If I stopped and faced her, it would turn into pissing match. "Let me go."

Her hand wrapped around my elbow as she yelled, "I don't care about you, Jane. I love you! I've loved you for a very long time."

Stumbling to a stop, I swallowed my heart back down as it clawed up my throat. Looking over my shoulder at Maura, I saw her words weren't founded in the love of the incredible friendship we once had. It was more, heavy and pure in her eyes. "What did you say?" I sputtered the words out.

Maura took a step closer, still clutching my elbow. "I love you, Jane. I have in secret for years and fought it. Every time you were hurt, it chipped away at my heart and my resolve. Suffering in silence with you as you healed, or next to you as your nightmares smothered your sleep. That day you fought the marine, the last piece broke off and I couldn't bear to put it back together. In my intelligent ignorance of life on a whole, I withdrew to analyze, dissect, and test my feelings. I'd fallen in love with my best friend and it was the most foreign, yet beautiful thing to ever happen in my life. My logic quickly dictated that you didn't feel the same and it was best if I gave you the room to breathe. I know I can be overbearing, possessive when it came to you, so I tried to do what was best." She shrugged a very Rizzoli like shrug, tears rolling down her cheek as she let go of my arm. "I loved you, I love you. I never stopped thinking of you and when you left it tore my heart out. Then my feelings fell into place and I needed you, that's why I messaged you. Asking why, hoping you'd listen to my silliness like you always do and I could tell you my feelings. I was fully prepared to accept your rejection and move on as your friend. I never got the chance. When I found the courage to search you out, I also found you to be happy with that handsome detective." Maura wiped her cheeks, sniffling.

I was shocked. My heart pounding like it was about to explode. "You're engaged, Maura. It's pre-wedding jitters." I winced, I should be telling her I was also equally in love with her, if not more. But my stupid mouth ran away from my brain. The love of my life was standing in front of me, professing her love and here I was stuck. Stuck and waiting for Peters to kick my boot and wake me up from another dream and tell me it was time to get back on the road.

She shook her head, "I gave the ring back two weeks ago and ended the relationship. Vance was a lovely man, but I didn't love him. I kept it hidden until he found what was inside my wallet on the kitchen table and confronted me."

Boom. There was my answer, thrown down on the ground like a hot gauntlet to challenge me. "Okay? Did you have condoms in there?" Maura smirked at the lame joke and my heart fluttered with nerves.

She removed her wallet from her back pocket and handed it over to me. "Look inside."

I hesitated before opening her fancy wallet, "Maura, I know what condoms look like. I have two brothers." Good lord my humor defense mechanism was in full force right now. I flipped to the back and almost dropped the wallet. Inside the small ID holder sat a picture of Maura and I at a Red Sox game. She'd taken me to one for my birthday and during the seventh inning stretch, she asked the lady next to us to take our picture. The lady had caught this candid of Maura and I looking at each other with huge grins on our face. When the lady handed Maura's phone back, she made a comment about how in love we looked. We laughed and moved out of the half embrace we were in, explaining we were just best friends. But in truth, I was stupidly in love with Maura that day and everyday before and after then.

It wasn't just the picture that caught me by surprise, it was the BPD pendant tucked in one corner with the LAPD pendant I sent in the other. I ran my finger over the picture as Maura spoke.

"I never forgot you. I could never forget you even if you wanted me to." She stepped closer, covering my hand with hers. "I love you, Jane Rizzoli." Her voice came out a tear soaked whisper. "I think fate brought me here to ask you a simple question in hopes we can stop living in this awkward state of not knowing where we went wrong." She swallowed hard and I cut her off.

"You're going to ask me if I love you back, right?" I sucked in a shaky breath, fighting my fight or flight instincts. "If I'm in love with you?"

Maura smiled as more tears rolled down her cheek, "Do you?"

I met her eyes, biting the inside of my cheek. I went to open my mouth to answer her when my cell phone rang. It was the ring tone I set for dispatch. I let it go to voicemail, "Maura, I…" The phone rang again, pissing me off. I grabbed it to turn it off when Maura covered my hand.

"Answer it, Jane. Someone might need you." She gave me a sad smile and gently took her wallet back. "I should go back and get some sleep. I have an early meeting."

She turned away from me, a soft sob shaking her shoulders. Assuming my job took priority like it did back in Boston. My phone rang again as she walked away. I glanced at the screen and saw it was dispatch.

For the first time in my life, I hit ignore and shut my phone off. Jamming it in my pocket as I ran after her. It was time for me to tempt fate in the other direction. For love and not for the heroics of the job the woman I loved thought I loved more than her.

I had to prove her wrong.

"Maura! Wait!


	5. Chapter 5

**N: i finished my scheduled edits for the day and felt inspired. So here we go! Another chapter! I hope you all enjoy this one! Also, to my regular aggressive reviewer on rizzles stories. Being aggressive and rude may end up with you getting blocked, so please take it easy and just enjoy where the story is going and understand i don't have endless free time to write fanfiction. It's a hobby and a nice break from my books and real life.**

 **The rest of you, thank you so much for reading and supporting these strange adventures i take the ladies on! Read on and enjoy!**

* * *

 **Maura**

I kept my eyes ahead, counting out the steps to calm my anger. I should've known better that Jane Rizzoli and feelings were like oil and water with a match tossed on top. I should've known better that being honest with my feelings never ends well. Perhaps it was because I was too honest, the inherent inability to lie rearing its head.

I sniffled, wiping hot tears from my cheeks as I saw my hotel. I had five more days in the city. It wouldn't be too hard to avoid Jane. I'd just have to ask that my consultations and meeting were very limited to those directly working the case. The city was large and wouldn't be difficult to hide from her and lick my wounds. My heart ached in my chest, the last few strings pulling loose and letting the pieces of Jane tattooed on them tumble away. At least I was brave enough to tell her everything and walk away when work called for her.

"Maura! Wait!" Jane called out from behind me.

I didn't turn to her voice like I always did and continued on walking. Her footsteps landed next to me, "Maura, please."

I shook my head as her cell phone rang again. "Jane, you should get that. It's important if they keep calling you."

Her hand wrapped around my bicep, gently tugging me to a stop. "I'm off duty and more important things in front of me." She huffed, "Please stop for a minute."

"I need to get to bed. It's been a very long day." I stepped away, trying to free my arm from her grasp. Jane held on and I sighed. "Jane, please. There's nothing left to be said. I understand if you don't feel the same. Our friendship did die a long time ago when I stopped seeing as just my best friend. As much as I know you're about to negotiate with me, I can't forge a new friendship. Not when I have these feelings for you." I dug into my wallet, removing the two pendants that had molded themselves into being a part of the wallet. Grabbing Jane's hand, I pressed the two pieces of jewelry into her palm. In many of my angry moments sitting alone at my desk, I dreamt of throwing the pendants back in her face. Cutting the last bit tying me to her. I flinched at how warm her skin was, and how tight and raw her scars looked. She hadn't been taking care of them or the rest of herself. But that shouldn't be a concern of mine.

But of course, my manners kept my anger in check. "Please. Let me go." I refused to look at her as my hand fell from hers. The last thing I wanted was Jane to see me cry over her. I wiped my cheeks, "I'm sorry about dinner. I'll make sure you're reimbursed."

"Jesus, Maura. Can't you just stop and listen?" Jane clutched the pendants. "I don't want these, I gave them to you for a reason. I always wanted to make sure I was with you, wherever you went. Wherever I went, you had a piece of me."

I sniffled, stepping away from Jane. "Angela hid your gift from me. I found it shoved in a tin of those awful cookies you loved. I was cleaning and went to dump it out when the small box tumbled out onto the floor." My face scrunched up, fighting another wave of tears as I resisted looking at Jane. "I'd managed to get through Christmas dinner. Angela explaining you couldn't get the time off, but I saw she was lying to cover up the fact you weren't coming home. The pain I hidden for a year, surfaced and it hurt. It burned, but I kept a happy smile on my face as presents were opened, pretending to be the happy host. I kept a happy smile on my face as Vance proposed to me at midnight and I accepted without a drop of happiness behind my fake tone." I swallowed hard, "I even sent you a Christmas present to the department. And when I didn't hear from you, I knew then. You were gone forever." I finally looked up at Jane, blinking tears away. "You're gone now."

Jane shook her head, her wild hair bouncing. "Maura, I never got a present from you." She looked at her hand, whispering. "I'm not gone."

"You are. I can see the fear and the temptation to run." I chuckled, shaking my head. "Vance told me I was stupid to love such an untamed woman. He told me you'd never love me, and maybe he was right. I'm not the one who can ever tame the wild Jane Rizzoli." I started walking away from Jane. "I can't do this. I won't do this anymore, Jane. I've said what I guess I came here to say."

Jane took a step to come after me, I held up a hand. "Please, Jane." I knew she would do as I asked, she always did when we were friends. I turned and walked back to my hotel in tears.

Never once did I hear Jane's footsteps chase after me.

* * *

XXX

 **Jane**

The wind was knocked out of me, I had to lean against the wall leading to the hotel grounds to steady myself. Maura had sucker punched me with fists made of truth and I saw the how far I'd fucked everything up, and how far I was fucking everything up. She was hurt, more than that, she was devastated and I was the source of this pain.

My head swirled as I sucked in deep breaths. No one in my life ever had the balls to hit me with the truth like Maura did. Ma tried, but it was with a motherly tone and I ignored it. The rest of my family avoided calling me out, knowing I'd just give them shit and tell them they didn't know squat. But Maura. Maura was the only one who could call me out and I'd take it to heart. And boy did her truths hurt and land straight on my heart.

I leaned against the wall. I had to figure out what to do. I could walk away and forget this night. Or I could fix my mess and fight for Maura. In all of this mess, I never once told Maura how I felt about her. I stood frozen as she poured out her heart and then held it out for me to take. She loved me. She'd always loved me.

Fuck. Maura Isles loved me.

I scrambled, for my phone, pulling it out with my wallet. Before dialing the best source for solid advice, I tucked the pendants behind my badge. The same place I kept a picture of Maura hidden away.

Hitting my number two contact, I rushed back to my car.

"Jane?"

"Frost, hi." I hopped into my car with a racing heart and a need to puke everywhere. "I know it's been a minute since I called."

"More like two months." He grumbled, "What do you need this time? Another email hacked? You know LAPD has a computer science unit."

I ran a hand through my hair, "I'm not calling for that. I, um, I need your advice."

Frost laughed, "Oh you do? You never listen to me Jane. Don't leave Boston, Jane. Make sure you say goodbye to Maura, Jane. Call Maura, Jane. Yeah, you listen real good to my advice."

I cringed. I had been a shit over the last year, drowning in a pit of self created despair. "I get it, Frost. And I promise when I fix this mess, I'm flying you out here for a vacation." I tapped the steering wheel, "You've always been my best friend, Frost, and I really need you."

I heard him sigh, "What's the mess?" His tone shifted from irritated.

"Um, I ran into Maura. At an accident on La Cienega."

"Oh my god, is she okay?"

Nodding to no one in the car, "Yeah. She's fine. She was there assisting a victim and I had to take her statement." I chewed on the inside of my lip. "I fucked up, didn't I?"

Frost chuckled, "Big time." He paused, my old chair squeaking in the background. "I'm going to use my detective powers and guess you two had it out, and she laid everything down for you. Her feelings, the broken engagement, the heart ache. You know you broke her heart, right?"

My eyes welled up, "I do know. We just fought outside her hotel and I see how big of an idiot I am." I paused, letting a single tear escape. "I love her, Barry. I love her so much but froze when it came to telling her. She stormed off, asking me to leave her alone. But I can't. I won't. I have to fight." I choked on a sob, covering my mouth.

"And you need me to tell you what to do." Frost huffed. "You know if you had listened to me that day in ditch after the marine, I'd probably be covering your honeymoon right now."

Pulling into my apartment complex lot, I parked the car and sat there, squeezing the phone. "She told me she sent me a Christmas present and when I said nothing about it, she gave up. I never got a present from her. Ma and you have my full address, and I know she probably weaseled it out of ma."

"I gave her your department address, Jane. I knew you'd be working overtime to avoid being home alone. Maura sent the gift there." Frost spoke in a quiet tone. "I was with her when she shipped it. I'll send you the damn tracking number now."

Leaning my forehead against the steering wheel, I let the tears fall. "What do I do?"

"Well, you and I both know when Dr. Isles shuts down, it's impossible to get through to her. I know she's in a fragile state lately. The end of her engagement didn't go well, never mind the fact she's not been the same since you left. She took the consultation in your neck of the woods until her leave of absence kicks in."

"Leave of absence?" I leaned back in the driver's seat.

"Yeah. She's taking three months off and going to Australia. She mentioned something about needed to be on the bottom of the earth to find her life again." I could hear Frost shrug on the phone. "I think it's her fancy way of saying she's hit rock bottom."

"Frost."

"I want to give you an ass chewing to end all ass chewing's, but let's fix this. Are you willing to fight for Maura, Jane?"

I nodded again, "More than anything."

"Good. Then first things first. Be yourself. Be the Jane Rizzoli she first met. Be that woman she fell in love with. Do the stupid little things you always did for her. Show up unexpected and include her. Open your stubborn heart and let her in. You know for sure she loves you now, go get her. Romance the hell out of her while you ask for her forgiveness." Frost paused, "You know she showed me the LAPD pendant you sent her a few days ago? Asking me advice like you are now?"

I half smiled, "And?"

"She messaged a few hours ago that you two ran into each other and she was going to finally tell you everything. So don't fuck this up Jane, you know what to do. Stop listening to your fear and follow your heart. When you do, I promise you it'll be worth it."

I grinned, wiping away tears. "You're the best Frost."

"I know. Oh and one more thing, when you get her, come home with her. I don't need a California vacation, I just need my two best friends back together and buying me beer at the robber."

I laughed and hung up after promising him. I sat in the car for a few minutes until a plan clicked into place. I knew exactly what I had to do, and step one was tracking down that lost Christmas gift.

* * *

XXXX

 **Maura**

Walking into the LA County morgue, I winced as the bright sunlight was replaced by cool fluorescent lights. Sleep had escaped me, leaving a pounding headache in it's wake. Today was going to be a very long day, and yet I was grateful to be working. It would keep my mind off last night.

I only had five days in Los Angeles before leaving immediately for Sydney. A choice made in hopes of recharging my soul and finding my focus again. One month would be spent doing nothing but laying in the sun and resting. The other two months I would be working with the best pathologists the country had to offer. Deep down, I was half entertaining the job offer sent my way last week. The same job offer that inspired the trip and leave of absence.

"Good morning, may I have your name?" A police officer smiled at me as I approached the front desk.

I held out my badge and ID card. "Dr. Maura Isles. Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts."

"Thank you, Dr. Isles. The team is waiting for you in Dr. Gaines office. First door on the right."

I smiled my thank you and walked down the hall. My heels clicking loudly on the cold tile. This consult would be challenging. Los Angeles had becoming a dumping ground for many bodies over the last month and the forensic team was having a difficult time discerning if it was the work of drug cartels, or a serial killer was on the loose. I was brought in due to my vast experience with serial killers in Boston and my work with the FBI over the last year.

Rounding a corner I was met by Dr. Gaines, smiling and waving me into her office. "Dr. Isles. Thank you so much for coming out and helping us." She motioned to the small conference room attached to her office. "I've gathered my team, the forensic evidence team and the detectives working the cases. They've all brought their notes and thoughts."

I smiled, "Thank you. After the introductions and briefings, I'd like to look at the most recent body."

"Of course, Dr. Isles." Dr. Gaines led me into the room full of men and women in uniform. "This is the team." She went about making the introductions as I laid my briefcase down and glanced at the large whiteboard filled with evidence and notes.

"And this is the lead detectives on the case. Detective Steve Peters and his new partner, Detective Sergeant Jane Rizzoli. The Captain just brought her in this morning when another body was found by the Hollywood sign."

The air was sucked out of the room as I turned to slowly meet the brown eyes of Jane staring at me as she stood in the far corner of the room. She smiled and nodded, tugging on her gear belt.

Of course Jane would be involved in a difficult case.

I let out a slow and steady breath, "Thank you. First, I appreciate being asked to consult and aid in solving these murders. Before we get started, can you one by one go over the evidence and cases. This way I can have the full picture along with your individual insights. All of it will help when I examine the physical evidence."

I glanced once more at Jane before sitting and facing the whiteboard as Dr. Gaines started.

An hour later, and volumes of information later, Dr. Gaines called for an hour ling break. A break I welcomed since I felt Jane's eyes boring into the back of my head the entire time. I stood up, smoothing out my skirt and flagged Detective Peters down, "Excuse me, detective? Is there a restroom nearby?"

Peters grinned and stepped closer, "It's down the hall. I can show you the way?" The way his voice shifted, I knew he was interested in me and our walk to the restroom would be filled with flirting.

"I'll show her, Steve." Jane's rough voice appeared behind me.

Peters shrugged in defeat. "Yeah, sure, Rizzoli." He paused, squinting at us. "Wait, didn't you two work together at BPD?"

I nodded, "Yes, we did."

He looked suspiciously between Jane and I before shrugging again. "Cool." He left the room, leaving me alone with Jane.

I turned to face Jane, a professional smile plastered on my face. "I can find it on my own, thank you." I reached for my bag.

"Dr. Gaines was right. I caught the latest body this morning the second I walked in." Jane fidgeted with her gear belt. "I had no idea this was your consultation case until I walked in and was handed the briefing notes."

"It's fine Jane. Anyone would want your skills and talent on a case like this one." I stepped past Jane. "Excuse me."

Jane followed, "There's a diner around the corner. They have great coffee and all the fancy teas you love."

I shook my head as a lump raced up into my throat. I didn't want to do this, I couldn't do this. I cried all night and drank a half bottle of wine, desperate to chase Jane away. "I'm fine, thank you."

"No you're not, Maura." Jane's hand fell to the small of my back. "And we both need coffee and a chat."

I closed my eyes, "Jane, please. I'm here to work."

"Me too, but I'm also here to work for your forgiveness." Jane caught my eyes as I opened them. Her brown eyes were watery with unshed tears. "Please. One coffee."

I huffed, "Fine." I cursed my weakness for Jane when she used manners. "One coffee."

The diner was right around the corner from the coroner's office and half empty. Jane waved to the waitress serving coffee behind the counter and led me to a quiet booth in the back. I sat across from her, trying to put plenty of space between us.

Jane flagged the waitress down. "Can I get a black coffee with two sugars? And a hot green tea latte with almond milk with raw sugar packets on the side."

I cocked an eyebrow, "Thank you."

Jane smirked, "I guess your morning routine had yet to change over the last year."

I shook my head, "It hasn't. I find sticking to a routine to be peaceful and way to avoid unnecessary stress." I lifted a plastic covered menu, looking over the egg white omelet options.

"I called Frost last night." Jane's raspy voice made me squeeze the menu in my fingers. "Did you know how screwed up the LAPD's mail department is? They've got packages from ten years ago, all undelivered to detectives because of one missed digit or letter."

My heart thundered in my chest as I stared at the menu. "Oh?"

"Yeah. I gave the clerk down there an earful when he finally found my package. Claiming since there was no specific division listed, he couldn't deliver it. Do you know how many Rizzoli's there are in LAPD?" Jane gave me a look as the waitress dropped off our drinks and a plate of croissants.

"Five?" I slowly set the menu down, reaching for my hot green tea.

"One. One Jane Rizzoli and he couldn't find me." Jane shook her, leaning forward as she began unbuttoning her uniform shirt. "He found the package this morning right before I took the new body. Box was heavy and water stained smearing the return address, but I'd recognize your handwriting even if I was blind, Maur." I began to sweat as she pulled her shirt apart and began digging in the front pocket where her trauma plate was.

"Jane. You don't have to." I sipped the hot liquid, wincing as it burned my lip.

She removed the expensive porcelain trauma plate and set it on the table between us. She slowly flipped it over to reveal the image of St. Michael superimposed on the caduceus symbol. I refused to look at the small paragraph etched under the image. "A hybrid trauma plate made out of the strongest and lightest materials ever made. An unusual gift for sure, but perfect coming from you." Jane ran her fingers over the words. "To protect your heart, until it comes home to me."

I bit the inside of my cheek, blushing at the bold words I chose. I'd had the plate made for Jane two weeks before I accepted Vance as my fate. I'd chosen the words in hope the great Detective Rizzoli would see the underlying hint. I clutched the cup tea with both hands. "I looked at the statistics of detectives being shot in LAPD and found them to be astronomically high compared to Boston. I had a colleague of mine create this particular material and test it. The plate can absorb a fifty caliber round with minimal damage to it or you."

Jane stood up, switching to sit next to me, laying a hand on my wrist. " Maur. Last night, I need to apologize for freezing up. I know I screwed the pooch when you poured your heart out." She sucked in a slow breath, her hand moving to lift my chin up to look at her. She had a nervous smile on her face. "I called Frost for advice last night, and he told me to man up and do this. Tell you that I lo…"

"Rizzoli! Dr. Gaines is looking for you." The voice of one of the evidence techs yelling from the diner counter broke the moment. He held up his cell phone, "She's got some questions about your field notes." I scooted away from Jane as if a bomb dropped between us.

Jane huffed rolling her eyes. "Yeah, okay got it Crapsberger. I'll be there in a second."

"It's Cratzberg, Rizzoli." He grumbled as collected a large paper cup of coffee.

I took the opportunity and slid out the other side of the booth and grabbed my bag. I set a few bills on the table with a shaky hand. "We should get back." I started walking away from Jane. My heart spinning at the words that were about to come out of her mouth.

Pushing out in to the warm morning sun, I let out a breath. Jane appeared behind me as I started walking back to the coroners' office, frantically buttoning her uniform shirt up. "Maura."

"I'm interested in hearing what you saw this morning at the new scene. I hope Dr. Gaines will let me sit in on the autopsy." I was rambling into work mode. My favorite defense mechanism.

I was two steps past the small alleyway behind the diner when a strong hand grabbed my wrist and pulled me against the building. I gasped when Jane appeared in front of me, "Jane?"

She licked her lips, "I love you. I love you, Maura and I have to say it now before some other dickhead interrupts us or my dumb ass screws this up again." She sighed, moving her hands to the sides of my face. "I've always been clueless when it came to romance. Missing the massive signs you threw down and turned into a petty shit when things weren't going my way. I didn't understand that it might have been up to me to make a move to match all the ones you made." She ran a thumb across my cheek, smiling. "I love you, Maura Isles and I should've told you a long time ago then did this."

Before I could say a word, Jane leaned forward and kissed me. I didn't hesitate falling, into the kiss, and kissed her back. Kissing Jane was everything I imagined, and even if I was still angry at her and confused by this, it was perfect. Jane broke from my lips, leaning her forehead against mine with flushed cheeks. "I'm sorry, Maura. I love you and I should've said it sooner."

Laying a hand on her cheek, I took a breath. Even as my heart was filled with joy, I knew this wasn't an easy fix. Jane couldn't just kiss me, profess her love and we'd forget all the pain and mistakes we both made. "And I love you." I leaned back, looking in her eyes, "This doesn't fix everything."

Jane nodded, pulling me into her arms. "I know, Maura and I'm willing to fight for you. If you'll give me the chance."

Wrapping my arms around her as a tear slipped down my cheek. "If you'll give me the chance, too. You're not alone in this mess of ours."

I closed my eyes soaking up the warmth of Jane, silently noting I'd have to call Frost later and thank him for his meddling ways.

Things were far from perfect, but there was hope.


	6. Chapter 6

**N: This story is going where it wants. It's going to be a slow rebuild of their relationship with some angst. This is just a filler chapter until Jane does something stupid in the next chapter. Anyways, read on and enjoy!**

* * *

 **Jane**

The briefing went quick and I left to start my shift. Reluctantly leaving Maura in the lab to rub elbows with Dr. Gaines and the rest of the tech team. I knew by the end of the week, Maura would find some small piece of evidence and link the cases together. By the weekend, SWAT would probably be kicking in the doors of a few people.

The body I picked up this morning had the classic signs of drug cartel written all over it with a twist of serial killer. All of the detectives involved had their theories and Maura listened intently to them all, trying her best not to sneak a look my way.

I on the other hand, couldn't tear my eyes from her and watched her. Kissing her opened my eyes in every cliché way imaginable. The woman was stunning and perfect.

Why hadn't I kissed her sooner and risked everything? I walked outside with the question on my mind, fighting the urge to run back into the labs, grab her and kiss her stupid in a supply closet. I absently ran my hand across my chest, feeling the rigid trauma plate and the message pressed against my heart.

"What's up with the shit eating grin, Rizzoli? You're never this happy at early morning briefings." Peters was outside, squinting at the bright morning sun with an iced coffee.

I shrugged, unconsciously patting my trauma plate. "Nothing, Peters. It's just shaping up to be a good morning."

He chuckled, lifting his sunglasses. "It's Thursday. It's already ninety degrees at a quarter after eleven am and we're on doubles until Monday. There's nothing good about any of that."

"You got me there." I started walking to my car, "Listen, I'm going to check out a few leads back at the office. You still have your case file from last month on your desk?"

Peters dropped his sunglasses back down. "Sure do. I pulled it when we got the call there was another body. It's the same MO. I left copies of the autopsy and lab reports." He smirked, "I was going to bring them after lunch, but maybe you'd like to hand deliver them to Dr. Isles." He nodded over his shoulder. "You two have a history? Cratzberg said he saw you two in the diner, having a discussion."

I sighed, "Yep. An old ancient history that is none of your business and Crapsberger is just pissed he's not lead tech on this mess." I yanked open the driver's door just as Maura exited the building in a pair of black scrubs and her hair tied back. Maura in scrubs was my second favorite look next to her wearing yoga pants and a BPD sweatshirt. She smiled when she caught my eyes and walked towards me.

Peters caught the look on my face, turned and saw Maura. He chuckled, "Yeah a history that makes you smile more than I've ever seen you in the last year. And that includes the day you met Nomar Garciaparra." He walked towards his own cruiser. "I don't care, Jane. As long as you're happy. But you might want to tell her Cratzberg has his heart set on getting his hooks in the good doctor."

A surge of jealous anger hit and I clenched the edge of the door. Peters chuckled again and disappeared just as Maura walked up.

"Jane? I'm glad I caught you." She shoved her hands into the pockets of her scrubs.

"Did you need more information about the body? I left my field notes with Dr. Gaines assistant." I bit my bottom lip and found myself staring at Maura's. I wanted to kiss her again, slower, softer and with intent. I kind og hated our first kiss was rushed and up against a brick wall with a dancing pancake over her head.

Maura grinned, tipping her head down. "Oh no, your notes were perfect, as always. They will help when we perform the autopsy and run the labs." She took a slow breath, "What time are you done today?"

I stepped away from the cruiser and moved to stand right in front of Maura. I had to lay my hands on my gear belt to prevent touching her. "Midnight. I'm on a double today. Why?"

Maura looked up, her hazel eyes locking on mine. "Would you be interested in meeting for a late dinner?" She swallowed hard, "We never really finished our conversation last night, or this morning."

I smiled, "Yeah, well death has always been the one thing that kept us apart and together." I took a tiny step closer, taking a deep breath of her perfume. "I'm usually in the mood for a late night breakfast at the end of a double."

"Pancakes, scrambled eggs with hot sauce and a half pound of bacon. Large pineapple orange juice." Maura grinned as she rattled off my usual order.

I nodded, reaching out and running my hand down her forearm. "I'm not one to break routine." I stopped at her wrist, running my thumb along the inside. I craved to hold her hand, but there were too many people milling about as the day started and crimes needed to be solved. "I'll call you right when I'm done and come pick you up."

Maura grabbed a few of my fingers and squeezed. "Sounds good." She looked over her shoulder, "I should get back. Dr. Gaines wants me to assist with the autopsy." She turned back to me, pressing her palm against my trauma plate. "Be safe, I need to tell this so much. I need to tell you so much more." She stood on her tip toes, whispering. "I'd really like to kiss you goodbye, but I don't want to cause even more scandal. I have half the forensics team speculating if you and I had a torrid affair and a horrible break up."

I blushed, "We might have to prove them right." I cleared my throat as Maura cocked her head and gave me a strange look. "The torrid affair part." I bent down to whisper in her ear, "I'll see you at midnight."

It was Maura's turn to blush and step away. "Jane." She licked her lips, as Cratzberg stepped out, waving at Maura.

I rolled my eyes, "You're being paged, Dr. Isles."

Maura smiled, smoothing out her scrubs. "Elliot is a good criminalist, but a bit too flirty for my liking."

"Elliot? His name is Elliot, oh boy this is good."

"Jane, I can handle him." Maura cocked and eyebrow, "Go, get to work. The sooner you do, the sooner we can talk."

I huffed, nodding as Maura walked away and met with Cratzberg. I hopped into my cruiser, saying a silent prayer to all of Ma's saints that today would be a slow shift.

* * *

I silently cursed all of Ma's saints for leaving me high and dry as I changed out of my uniform. The shift had turned into an endless stream of calls. Domestics, car accidents, a fight outside of a doughnut shop, one house fire, and a handful of supervisor calls that required my presence. Sometimes being a sergeant wasn't worth the pay bump.

I slid into a pair of jeans and threw on t-shirt and a nice sweater over the top. The weather had shifted halfway through the shift and the temps dropped into almost chilly. Looking at the clock, it was almost twelve thirty. I dug my phone out, typing up a quick text to Maura as I drove to the hotel.

 _-The city couldn't behave. I'm leaving now, are you still up for a late night breakfast?-_

The phone rang three seconds after I hit send, an unknown number with a Boston area code. I swallowed hard and answered. "Hey you."

"Hello Jane." Maura's voice was low, raspy with sleep.

"Did I wake you?" I glanced at my watch, it was almost a quarter to one.

"I didn't realize I'd fallen asleep, so no. You did not wake me." She yawned, and I could almost picture her doing those little yoga stretches she did when she was trying to wake up.

Tapping the steering wheel, my stomach fluttered. "We can meet for breakfast. I know you had a long day. Peters told me you left the morgue late after sending us your recent findings."

"I missed dinner, Jane and have been craving an omelet since this morning." Maura yawned once more. "And since I cannot lie, I've also been looking forward to seeing you again all day."

I grinned in the empty car, "I'll be there in ten." I hung up, tapping the steering wheel as my stomach fluttered once more.

Ten minutes later I was knocking on her hotel room door, nervously running my hands through my hair. The door opened as I fought the urge to run the other way as my fears started bubbling up. Maura had a huge grin on her face, "Jane."

I bit my bottom lip to keep from matching her grin. "Maur."

She stepped back, motioning for me to come in. "The lovely concierge provided me with a local food delivery service. I took the initiative and ordered for us." She closed the door behind me. "I hope you don't mind. I wanted to have a bit of privacy and didn't feel like putting my dress back on."

I sniffed the air. The heavy smells of eggs, cheese, bacon and potatoes filled the air. "Kate's diner on seventh. I would know that maple bacon smell anywhere." I glanced at Maura coming to my side as she led us into the small sitting area with a table covered in food containers. She was wearing baggy sweatpants with a faded BPD logo on the side and one of her old Irish sweaters that swallowed her up. She wore no makeup and her hair was pulled in a loose ponytail. I had to swallow hard and focus on the food. Maura in this ultra relaxed state was my favorite. I always felt when I saw her like this, I saw Clark Kent behind the super man. I knew Maura would only let her guard down like this around me. Forgoing her designer dress armor and perfect makeup. "I like the relaxed version of you."

Maura smiled, sitting down and filling a plate with food. "I had intentions of getting ready for tonight. Shower, makeup, and a nice dress. But I fell asleep the second I laid down after showering." She looked up, hazel eyes full of concern. "I can change if you'd still like to go out? I know you prefer open spaces when you're nervous."

I shook my head, taking the plate and sitting next to her. "This is perfect." I whispered the words, looking at the side of her face.

That's when the tsunami of emotions hit and I felt all of my will crumble. I'd been terrible to this woman and within forty eight hours, she'd forgiven me and slipped back into the old ways of taking care of me. Always putting me first and herself second. In turn, I ignored my feelings for her and in general ignored everything going on around me when it came to Maura Isles. All because I thought I was trying to protect her and our friendship.

Never mind the fact there was only three days left before Maura left Los Angeles and flew to the end of the world. Another fact I was having a hard time digesting. I couldn't ask her to stay. I did that once when Paris was a few days away. I was scared of what could happen alone with her for a month in the city of love. She canceled the trip and stayed home, sitting next to me on my old couch watching sports center.

I shoveled eggs in my mouth, chewing out the feelings as Maura chatted about the weather and the one art museum she had plans on visiting before she met with Dr. Gaines in the afternoon. She even mentioned extending her trip for another week. Her tone told me she was staying for me.

If I was going to fix this, I had to start being honest with her. I had to let her know that she didn't have to set herself aside to make me happy. I poked a pancake, "Don't cancel your trip to Sydney. It'll be good for you to take a break."

Maura paused cutting her bacon into manageable pieces. "Um, Sydney? How did you know?" Her voice shook ever so slightly.

"Frost told me. He told me you were taking a leave of absence for a few months. Work this case and then head down under for a break." My eyes flitted to her ring finger. "You probably need to recharge. After everything."

She set her fork down gently. "The tone in your voice tells me you're fibbing, Jane. You're using open ended comments to persuade me to start a conversation. You also keep looking at my left ring finger." She looked at me, "Just ask Jane, and I'll tell you."

I sighed. She would always put me first, put the ball in my court. I leaned back in the chair, looking at Maura. Thinking for a moment before saying fuck it and went with my gut. "The moment I realized I loved you was about four years ago. It wasn't even a grand eye opening moment, or a result of one of more dramatic work moments. It was a Sunday morning after one of our runs and I roped you into stopping for coffee at that doughnut shop you hated, but I loved. We sat at table and while I demolished three double chocolate, you sat there with your tea. Sipping it and looking out the window as the Sunday crowd started milling in the streets. The light hit your eyes just right and made them shine like muddy pieces of emerald. You looked so at peace even though we had cases hanging over our heads. You kept your eyes out the window and asked me a simple question." I paused, remembering that moment in vivid detail.

"Could you ever imagine spending the rest of your life, sitting in quiet watching the world stroll by?" Maura's voice was soft. "Forget who we are to the world and just be us?"

I smiled, nodding as my eyes welled up. "I brushed it off as a one of your hypothetical what if questions. Giving you a stupid answer that I'd always be looking for the purse snatchers, or creeps in the world. But when you looked into my eyes, I saw my entire life in them. I suddenly could picture myself sitting with you every Sunday morning doing nothing but watching you watch the world. But then reality and fear crept in." I shrugged, "And I packed my heart up and locked it away in handful of lock boxes. Only letting my feelings surface when you were in danger."

Maura laid a hand on my forearm. "You weren't alone that day. That question popped up in my head and I had to ask it. We'd just surpassed the first year of our friendship and you worked your way so deep into my being, Jane, I fell tumbling into love with you. But then the next day Casey showed up on your door." She smiled tightly, picking up a piece of toast.

I shook my head. "Yeah he did." I frowned at the memories of Casey and the hurt I put Maura through. I reached over, grabbing her hand and winding it in mine. I ran my finger over the tan line. "Who was he?"

Maura sighed, looking at our hands. "He was a friend. A colleague from BCU I worked with when I was doing lectures. He persued me and I turned him down. When you fought that marine, he called that night for dinner. I accepted, hoping I could cover my feelings. It didn't work but I was too polite to end it. He was falling in love with me, and I was falling into a comfortable limbo of not having to feel anything more than what I was supposed with him. I could fake emotions, I've always been able to mimic being an amenable human. When he proposed to me, I'd checked the tracking on your gift and found it had been delivered a week ago but you hadn't bothered to pick it up. I took it as a sign you were done. You'd left without saying goodbye, blocked my number and ignored the gift. It didn't help he asked all of my friends and family about asking me to marry me."

I cocked an eyebrow, "He asked Frost? Korsak? And by family, you mean ma?"

Maura nodded, chuckling. "Yes, he asked Angela, and even went to Frankie. I never stopped the family dinners and when you left everyone circled around me and we grew closer." She scrunched her face up, "They were all very upset with your behavior."

I tipped my head down, "Yeah I know. I had to block Ma for a few days to stop the angry voicemails." I cleared my throat, snatching up a piece of bacon. "What happened? You mention he found your wallet, my pendants."

"He did. Things had been tense between us over the last month. My mask was slipping and I was having a difficult time keeping my false feelings intact. He kept pushing for us to set a date and when would we start a family. I tried, I tried so hard, but whenever I sat down to plan some details, I'd find myself looking at all the things you'd want in a wedding." Maura sighed, rubbing at her forehead. "We got into an argument about inviting your family to the wedding. Vance didn't think it was appropriate to have all of the Rizzoli's there since they weren't real family. I snapped at him and then he confronted me about the picture. He flat out asked me what happened between us and why you just left. He questioned why I had a picture of you, but not him. Why did I get upset when you were mentioned? Why did I shy away from his intimacy and never slept at his house?" She licked her lips. "I told him everything. That I was completely in love with you and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't forget you. I didn't want to forget you even if it appeared you had. I took the ring off, gave it back and walked out of my house and went to Frankie's until Vance collected his things and left."

"Ah, that's what Frankie's angry rambling voice mail was about. I deleted it when he started calling me a brat." I shifted in my chair to face Maura. "I'm idiot, Maura."

"Yes, you are, Jane." Maura's voice rasped.

I gave her a wide-eyed look, "Thanks?"

Maura leaned forward, pressing our foreheads together. "We both are." She brushed her lips against mine, "I love you." She kissed me softly, moaning against my lips.

I pushed into the kiss, giving my all. I smiled at how her lips tasted like bacon. I parted from her lips just as her stomach grumbled. I leaned back, laughing at her bright red cheeks. "Eat, Maura."

She ran a hand down my face, "I skipped lunch and dinner."

I opened my mouth in mock shock. "The good doctor did not!" I moved to the container full of pancakes, stacking a few more on her plate. "I'm sure your body is slipping into some sort of starvation sugar shock. You're too thin as it is." I had noticed Maura was thinner than I last saw her, but after hearing the emotional stress she'd endured, it was understandable.

I watched as she ate eagerly, "It's my turn to start taking care of you, Maura."

Her only response was to grab my hand and ask if I was going to eat my toast.

* * *

XXXX

 **Maura**

Jane was passed out on the couch next to me. Snoring softly as the end titles of the show she picked roll across the TV. We continued to talk as I ate and then fell into old habits of curling up on the couch to watch TV. She fell asleep ten minutes into the episode of some new cop show she loved, and I sat watching her sleep in between commercials.

I felt like ten tons had been lifted off my shoulders as I told her about what happened with my engagement and that I was done running. I saw the fear in her eyes when she mentioned Australia, thinking I was leaving her again.

I never expected to see Jane again and even as she slept next to me, her hand wrapped in mine, I knew I couldn't stay for her. She couldn't be the sole reason I didn't take the trip to Australia. We were in the early stages of reuniting and building a relationship, but as much as I loved her, I couldn't fall back into old habits. I'd see how the rest of this week went and maybe I'd ask her to come with me or at least wait until I came home.

Jane groaned as her eyes slowly opened, "I fell asleep."

I nodded, squeezing her hand. "It's okay. You've had a busy week." I stood up, moving to clean up the remaining mess on the table. I nodded at the clock, "It's almost three in the morning."

Jane ran her hands through wild hair. "Shit. I have to be at the station at nine. I'm working half of Peters shift before I have the weekend off." She stood up, stretching her arms over her head. Her shirt lifted up and I caught a glimpse of her hips.

I had to look away as my heart sped up. But then it spoke for me. "You can stay here. This suite is quite large and Elliot gave me enough LAPD swag to keep me clothed for months." I walked over to the small bag full of shirts, sweatpants and hoodies. "He gave me every size." I held up a shirt with the LA County Coroner logo of a chalk outline. "Intriguing logo."

Jane appeared next to me, her arms crossed with a hint of jealousy in her eyes. "I'm going to have a talk with him." She snatched the shirt out of my hands and grabbed the pair of sweat shorts I set on the chair next to us. "I'll sleep on the couch. I'm too tired to drive home and make that forty five minute drive back in rush hour."

Jane stumbled off to the bathroom as I finished up cleaning and put away the case work I'd brought back. I wanted to offer my bed, but I knew better to argue with a tired Jane. I could argue until I was blue in the face how a couch is poor support for her back, and she'd just shrug and curl up into the cushions. Grumbling how uncomfortable it was in the morning.

Slipping into the bed, I adjusted the pillows as Jane came out of the bathroom looking like a walking billboard for the LAPD and LA County Coroners office. I smirked as she neatly folded her clothes, turned off the TV and laid down on the couch, covering herself with the heavy blanket from the closet. She set the alarm on her phone and set it on the table next to her.

"Goodnight Jane." I smiled at the mass of black hair puffing out the top of the blanket.

"G'night Maur." Jane half yawned the words out as she covered most of her head with the blanket.

I waited until her breathing evened out before closing my eyes. Sleep coming quickly from the late hour and heavy meal I ate.

I was woken up by a cool breeze grazing across the back of my legs. I squinted in the darkness, catching the blankets being lifted and the cool breeze replaced by a very warm body. A very familiar warm body as it pressed against my back. A strong arm snaked under mine to lay on my stomach and draw me in closer.

Jane nuzzled into my neck, murmuring in a deep voice. "I was trying to be polite in taking the couch when you didn't ask me to join you. But couldn't sleep knowing you were five feet away." She pressed a soft kiss to the space between my neck and shoulder. "The nights I slept the best were when you were next to me, Maura. I love you." Jane let out a sleepy breath and fell back to sleep.

I grabbed her hand, pulling it up to lay against my heart. Grinning in the darkness of the hotel room.

If she only knew it had been almost six hundred and twenty-two days since I actually slept an entire night. Six hundred and twenty-two days since we last shared a bed the night before she chased that marine.

I closed my eyes and fell asleep in two breaths.

There wouldn't be a six hundred and twenty third night.


	7. Chapter 7

N: filler chapter but it gets me to the next one. I think there are two more left in this one. It's a odd chapter, but this week has been a long one and I'm tired from work and family. So read on and enjoy! Also you should go to my twitter sydney563a I'm about to post the cover to my next book on there tomorrow and you all can get the first look at my new book coming out soon!

Thank you and read on!

* * *

 **Xxx**

 **jane**

I woke to the smell of fresh coffee wafting over my pillow. Peeling an eye open, I spotted a silver travel thermos with a chalk outline of the Coroner's office on the bedside table. Soft curls of steam floated out the top. I smirked, rolling over to sit up in the bed, brushing back my wild bedhead. I reached for the thermos, taking a sip of the coffee to find it was exactly how I took it. Cream with all the sugar imaginable.

I looked towards the suite bathroom. Maura had her back to the room while she went through her extensive morning ritual. It was one I knew well. She would shower, dress after painfully selecting the perfect outfit for the day. Then she would do her hair and makeup. I likened it to a knight putting on their armor before heading into battle.

I had watched Maura prepare for battle many times. She always let me sleep in, but what she didn't know was that I'd always wake up and watch her in fascination. Fascination that became a guilty pleasure as my feelings grew for her. I took another sip of coffee, glancing at the clock. It was still very early, and I didn't have to leave for another two hours. I turned back to the bathroom and caught Maura looking at me in the mirror.

"Good Morning, Jane." Maura looked over her shoulder with a smile. She caught me blatantly staring.

"Morning." I hid my blush with the coffee mug. "I wasn't staring."

"Yes you were." She finished applying her lipstick and left the bathroom. "You've always watched me get ready. Why is that?" She tilted her head in the way she always did when she was searching out information.

I shrugged, setting the thermos down. "I clearly don't spend any time getting ready. The only makeup I own is a tube of lipstick from high school. My hair is a wild animal, and all the clothes I own are machine washable and anti wrinkle." I smiled at her. "I watch you because it's interesting. Intriguing and I love watching you go from my Maura to Dr. Maura Isles, Chief Medical Examiner."

Maura sat on the edge of the bed next to me, laying a hand on my leg. "My Maura?"

"Yeah, my Maura. The woman who is comfortable enough to forgo makeup, leave her hair in an imperfect ponytail, and sometimes wears my old clothes all day. My Maura." I swallowed hard. It was the first time I actually said that aloud. "I mean, maybe after-hours Maura. I don't own you. You're not mine." I frowned, tipping my head down.

"I've always been yours, Jane." Maura squeezed my knee. "You're the only person I can be after hours with. You've never judged me or laughed at my imperfections." She waited until I looked at her. "I've always been yours."

A heavy silence fell between us and I froze. Maura smiled and stood. "I have to leave. Dr. Gaines wants to meet for breakfast. She wants me to examine the autopsy results."

She smoothed out her dark blue silk top. "Would you like to join me for lunch?"

I chewed on my bottom lip. I had to make things better between us. For every great moment there was an awkward unsure one quickly following it. Swinging my legs out of the bed, I stood up. "I'm only working six hours today. It's my last half day before I have the weekend off." I walked over to Maura organizing her briefcase. "Dinner? A real one?"

Maura's smile lit up my heart. "Define real?"

I shrugged, stepping closer. "My apartment, ma's gnocchi and maybe the best cheesecake in Los Angeles?" I smiled, setting the thermos down. "I'm still not good at fine dining. I only know where the best taco joints, diners, and deli's are in this city."

Maura looked up at the ceiling, furrowing her brow as if she was debating my offer. "Will it be the potato gnocchi?"

"For you? Of course."

"Then yes. Your real dinner sounds perfect." Maura clicked her briefcase shut. "I'll call you when I'm leaving the labs."

She went to reach for her purse when I grabbed her wrist and pulled her to me. I wasted no time and kissed her. Smiling at the minty taste of her toothpaste mingling with my coffee. I broke from her lips as she whimpered "Thank you for the coffee."

Maura's face was flushed as she licked her lips. "You still take too much sugar, Jane."

"Thank you for remembering." I whispered against her lips, kissing her once more before Maura wiggled free.

She smiled as she collected her things. "I left out a fresh towel for you. I'll see later, please be careful, Jane." She cocked an eyebrow and left the room in a whisper of perfume and perfection.

I sighed the second I was alone. The wonderful weight of this new step in our relationship made me eager to get to work and finish the day. A rarity in my entire life as a cop. Work always came first since I never had a reason to come home.

But today I did. I smirked as I took the coffee in the bathroom and turned on the shower as hot as I could get it. Today was going to be a good day.

* * *

 **XXXX Maura**

"If you run a tool comparison of the last five victims to this latest one, I believe you'll be able to link them all to the same weapon." I pointed at the photographs Dr. Gaines had pinned to the board behind her desk. "I noticed minute serrations at the edge of the wounds. I was able to narrow it down to four different knives used by the Alvarez Cartel. They're standard military knives popular in South America." I pointed at each close up image of the stab wounds. "I also researched the known members of the Cartel. Three of them favored the knife I speak of." I grabbed the stack of research I had printed out. "I'd forward this information to your Vice and Narcotics division. Perhaps they have contacts who could provide more information."

Dr. Gaines leaned forward, squinting at the images I'd taken of the stab wounds, shaking her head. "Incredible Dr. Isles. I've been staring at these wounds for a month know and all I saw was stab wounds. I never saw the serrations."

"I once had a very difficult case in Boston where the murderer was using a particular type of scalpel. But scalpels are mass produced and used in the thousands daily. I took things to a microscopic level and spotted there were ragged edges in the wounds left on the victims. I was able to single out a specific brand and production run that had a minor stamping error. That narrowed our suspects down to five and eventually the man who was responsible for the murders." I smiled fidgeting with my ring. "I've learned to look closer when I'm stumped on a case. The deeper you dig, the more layers you uncover."

Dr. Gaines grinned, "I remember reading your paper on the Charles Hoyt copycat killer. Incredible work by you and your lab."

I nodded as my stomach twisted. "It was incredible work done by the entire Boston Police Department." I turned to collect my files, fighting off the memory of Jane spiraling into nightmares during that case. It was right before she took on the marine and began the slow dissolution of our friendship. "I believe you have enough to work with now, Dr. Gaines." I glanced at the clock, it was almost five p.m. Jane would be done with her shift now. I reached for my cell phone to message her.

"Yes, I think I do. Thank you so much Dr. Isles. Your expertise has blown these cases wide open." She grabbed my research and called her lab assistant.

Just as I was about to send Jane a message, I saw Elliot walk by, carrying a handful of plastic evidence bags. He was complaining to another tech walking next to him. "I swear to God. Rizzoli is such a pain in the ass. She acts like she's a patrol rookie, busting down doors and throwing down with suspects. I had to collect her blood to eliminate it from the scene. It was a damn mess." He huffed, "I heard she was a loose cannon back in Boston. Always screwing up and getting herself hurt."

My legs moved on their own out of the office, I rushed to Elliot. "Excuse me, what were you saying about Detective Sergeant Rizzoli?"

Elliot turned, grinning as he saw me. "Hello Dr. Isles. How are you?"

"What happened to Detective Sergeant Rizzoli?" I kept my tone even, fighting the urge to throttle this fool.

Elliot rolled his eyes. "She had a hunch on her body from the other day. Cornered an Alvarez Cartel thug on a traffic stop. Things went to hell and they went at it when she found a body in the guys trunk. Rizzoli played superhero and took the guy on." He huffed, "She got her blood all over the inside of the car, contaminating my scene. It'll take all weekend to eliminate her blood and DNA from the trace in the car."

My heart dropped. Flashbacks of another day and another fight hit me. I clutched my phone, trying to funnel out the panic surging through my veins. "Where is she?"

"I don't know. I stopped caring when she told me about the mess she made. No wonder BPD was happy to get rid of her." Elliot stepped closer. "Hey, so I was wondering if I could take you out to dinner this weekend, Dr. Isles. Or can I call you Maura?"

"Dr. Isles is perfectly fine." I glared at the man. "Boston Police was devastated when Jane Rizzoli moved on. Their loss was your gain and I suggest you watch what you say and who you say it to." I motioned over my shoulder to Dr. Gaines. "I'm also certain Dr. Gaines would not be happy with your current behavior, hitting on her colleagues." I spun on my heels at a gaping Elliot and hit Jane's picture in my phone. "As for dinner. Sorry, but I have a date with Detective Rizzoli."

I walked away from Elliot and collected my briefcase as the phone range. It almost went to voicemail when Jane's gravely voice answered. "Before you say it, Maur. I had back up. And who told you? I literally just walked in my apartment from urgent care."

"Jane, please wait a moment." I smiled at Dr. Gaines as I pulled the phone from my ear. "I'm leaving for the day. If you need me, please call. I won't be leaving until Sunday. I'm sure you'll get a call in an hour or so. Detective Sergeant Rizzoli arrested a member of the Alvarez Cartel. And knowing that detective, you'll have the suspects knife in an hour and possibly a statement guiding you to the culprits of these murders."

Dr. Gaines nodded as I left her office in a hurry, barely hearing the thank you she issued to my back. "Jane. How bad is it?"

"Cut above my eyebrow. Stupid thing split and bled like a stuck pig." Jane sighed, "Maura."

I shook my head, fighting the past and the urge to run away. "Send me your address."

"Wait, you still want to have dinner?" Jane was confused.

I swallowed hard. "I do."

Jane sighed. "I had a hunch. The guy hit first."

"Jane, you don't have to defend your actions." I pushed open the lab doors. The hot afternoon sun felt incredible on my chilled skin. "If Elliot was right, and it's an Alvarez Cartel member, you just helped to solve all of these murders. I can't hold that over your head, even if you got hurt." I didn't give her a chance to back out. "Please send me your address."

"1756 Bethany Court. Apt 4N. The door guy will give you a key at the front desk. I'll see you when you get here, Maura." The sound of defeat was heavy in Jane's voice. And I knew why. She was expecting me to run in her apartment, lecture her on dangerous behavior and then leave. Pretending everything was okay as I pushed her away.

In truth, my latent nature was roaring to do just that. But I couldn't. Jane had met me halfway over the last couple of days, I needed to meet her the rest of the way. Put my fears to the side and listen to her.

I loved her too much to let her go now. No matter how much I worried every day that it would be her last.

* * *

XXXx

Jane stood at the stove, cursing around puffs of steam as pots boiled bubbled.

I had let myself in with the key happily given to me by Sal the door guy. He was an older gentleman who clearly kept a hawk on eye on all of the tenants in the old building Jane lived in. He was excited to see Jane had a visitor, he was starting to wonder if she was one of those secret hoarders that never had people over.

After assuring Jane was not a hoarder, I took the elevator up to the fourth floor. My heart pounding as I tried to steel myself. I'd always had an adverse reaction to Jane getting hurt but dealt with it, shoving those feelings in the same box as my love for her. Now, it was harder. We had established something between us and it was something I wanted, and would have to fight my nature to keep.

"Son of a bitch!" Jane hollered as she burnt her hand on the pan in front of her.

I rushed to her side, grabbing her wrist as she went to shove her fingers under cold water. "Luke warm water. It won't sting as much." I reached for the faucet, warming the water.

Jane flinched, "Jesus Christ, we have to work on your ninja skills." She glanced at the flats on my feet. "I usually hear your heels a mile away."

"I changed them in the car." I looked up and winced at the sight of Jane's face. She had a blood soaked bandage covering her right eyebrow. There was a few bits of dried blood around her forehead and in her hear. "Jane." I reached up, running fingers across her cheek. The tears pushed to free themselves.

Jane gently pulled my hand free, squeezing my fingers as she stuck her burnt hand under the water. "I was about to take a shower when you called. I wanted to get dinner started before I cleaned up. Ma's gnocchi takes a while to cook." She turned away to stare at the water running over her hand. "He started it. I avoid all fights today. Which is harder than it was in Boston. People out here are always roaring for a fight." Jane turned her hand over, letting the water run over the scar in the middle of her hand. "I pulled him over since his car matched that of the make and model spotted at the last crime scene. I was taking it easy until I spotted the knife under his seat. The guy freaked and it was on before I could think. I took the hit to my eyebrow before I tased him and Peters hopped into help me take the guy to the ground." She turned to look at me. "I promised I'd be safe, and I did my best, Maura. I even had the doc hurry up on the stitching so I could get home. I wasn't going to miss this date."

I sighed, stepping closer to Jane and taking her hand from the water. I carefully wrapped it in a towel. "Elliot told me. Well, I overheard him complaining you left your blood all over his scene. He called you a pain in the ass then proceeded to ask me to dinner."

I felt Jane's hand tense into a fist. "That little shit."

I smiled. "I turned him down. Said I had a better offer." I looked up, scanning Jane's face. "I hate when you get hurt."

Jane stepped out of my reach, taking the damp towel from my hand. "I know that tone. I'm about to get a lecture. Let me shower and I'll be ready to face the googlemouth of statistics and proper tactics I could've used." She suddenly frowned, glancing at me as she walked out of the kitchen. "You don't have to do this, Maura. You don't have to do this with me. I know how much it hurts you when I get hurt." She dropped her head down and walked away defeated.

I opened my mouth to stop her, but stopped myself. Jane didn't need my intelligence in this moment. She needed me. And me is what I would give her. I turned to the stove and tended to the boiling pasta and grabbed a loaf of bread to start the garlic bread I knew Jane loved.

* * *

 **XXXX**

 **Jane**

The hot shower didn't alleviate the strange anger coursing through my body. I couldn't figure out if I was mad at the dipshit thug for ruining my day and putting a heavy slice of awkwardness between Maura and I. Or if I was mad at Maura, the world or myself for choosing to be a cop at the age of six. I could've been happy as a plumber, right?

I walked out of my room dressed in an old pair of jeans and a LAPD shirt. I yanked my wet hair back into a ponytail and walked out into the kitchen to find Maura setting the table, wearing my apron with a dancing hot dog on it.

She smiled as she saw me enter. "The gnocchi is almost done. It's in the sauce now, simmering to absorb the flavors."

"I was supposed to make you dinner." I huffed, walking to the stove and frowning deeper as I saw Maura had perfectly cooked everything I'd left. She had been spending a lot of time with ma and it showed. "I wish you'd let me do something for you." I grumbled the words out as I angrily stirred the sauce.

Her hand fell to the small of my back and I stepped away from it. "Maura, please." I clenched my jaw. My anger was building and now wasn't the time. I walked to the fridge and grabbed a beer, taking a large drink before looking at Maura. She stood straight as a board, smiling and fidgeting with her hands and beautiful as always. "I'm sorry. It's been a stupid day."

"It's fine." Maura nodded curtly and looked away.

The way she always did when she was bothered and smothering her feelings under a façade.

I shook my head. "You're not fine. Just say it, Maura. I figured after the last couple of days we were moving past politely lying to each other and hiding our true feelings." I set the beer down hard, waving at her. "Go ahead, get it out of your system. Bitch at me for being a stupid fool and putting myself in danger. Even though I'm a cop and putting myself in danger is the first requirement next to having a valid driver's license." My voice was raised, and I couldn't pull it back down. "Maybe Peters is right, not everything changes with time."

Maura's eyes shifted and I knew I hit a button. "Jane, I did not come here to bitch at you. I came here to have dinner and be with you. I don't understand where all this anger is coming from? Yes, it bothers me to see you hurt and I'd be lying if I said I'm fine with it. I'll never be fine with you being hurt. I love you and I want as much time as possible with you, Jane." She took a step forward. "Are you mad at me? Are you mad that I'm here?"

I shrugged, grabbing my beer. "Yes. No, maybe. I don't know Maura." I raised the beer. "I see the look in your face and I'm taken right back to that day on the hill. To the days that followed after. The distance you pushed between us. All of our friends and my family telling me that you needed time, that it was hard for you. It was hard for me, but I sucked it up and took the blame. I took the blame because I was partly to blame for the mess." I ran a hand through my hair, feeling the dam break. "Everyone pointed fingers at me. You're being mean to Maura. You're being stupid with Maura. You and Maura are friends, go fix it, Janie. Everyone was on my ass, but only Frost understood the depth of my feelings." I looked at Maura still standing there, fidgeting with her hands. "I knew and know how much it tears at you when I'm hurt. But it hurts me a thousand times more when I see you hurt, so I took all of the blame and carried it to protect you. Everything I do is to protect you, Maura. From the big things to the little things like placing a hand on the small of your back to guide you around a puddle."

I chugged the rest of the beer down in one gulp and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. "I'll say it again, you don't have to do this with me. You can get on your flight in a day and move on to a better life. We can chalk this up as a nice pause in reality and go from there. But I will not ask you to do anything you don't want, Maura. I love you too much to force your hand." I let out a breath, stepping to the fridge for another beer.

"And I could never ask of you the same." Maura's voice was small, but very close to my back. "I knew when I got your pendant and letter. I read between the lines of your messy handwriting. You've been carrying the weight for both of us, haven't you?"

I swallowed hard, closing my eyes as her arms wrapped around my waist. "I'd carry the world for you, Maura." My voice came out a hard whisper.

She laid her head against my back. "Then let me share the load. I want this. I want to do this with you. No matter how much time and distance you placed between us, and the nature of both of our jobs, I want to do this with you. I've never slept better or felt more alive than when I heard you say you love me, Jane. I love the jealousy in your eyes, the fire in your belly when the Elliots of the world flirt with me. And I love that you share that fire with the world as police officer." She lifted her head gently turning me around to face her. I watched as her eyes feel to my eyebrow. "Stop carrying the blame. Stop protecting me with everything you have. Let me carry some of the blame, let me protect you." Maura laid a hand over my heart. "Give this to me, and let me give you mine." Her voice went soft as a tear slipped down her cheek. "I'm sorry, Jane. I never wanted you to feel like this. You've always been the most important person in my life."

I blinked a few tears away, wiping hers from her cheek. "Are you sure?" I squinted playfully at her even as my heart swelled and almost exploded from the love filling it. "Or are you saying this because you're leaving in less than forty eight hours?"

Maura swallowed hard. "I leave tomorrow. I provided enough evidence for Dr. Gaines to tie all of the murders together. That with your arrest, the case should be closed and sent off to trial. I've completed my consultation duties here."

My heart skipped and dropped as I held Maura's face. "A vacation would be good for you. Frost told me you've been working non stop for months." I smiled for her benefit even though I was shaking on the inside. I just got her, I couldn't let her leave. But I couldn't ask her to stay.

Maura found my hands with hers. "Come with me. We both need a vacation." She smiled, kissing my palm. "I can make arrangements for a ticket for you."

I smiled, "I'd have to quit my job to get the vacation time. The Chief and Mayor have frozen vacation time until the end of the month." I kissed her forehead to distract from the fear filling my voice. "Plus, you know how I get on long flights. Antsy and annoying." I leaned back, searching her hazel eyes. "It's three months, right?"

Maura nodded. "Three months." She smiled, looking away from me at the bubbling pot of sauce. "We should eat before that burns." She stepped out of my hands and reached for the spoon.

Maura was hiding something. I saw it clear as day, but I didn't want to push. I wanted to enjoy the last few hours I had with her. I bent down to pull Maura's chin up so I could kiss her soundly. "Promise me you'll call everyday and tell me every single fact of Australia possible." I watched her hazel eyes light up. I chuckled. "I knew that would get you." I kissed her once more, mumbling against her lips. "I love you, Maura Isles. I waited a year, I can wait three more months."

Maura blushed and stood on her tip toes to kiss me harder than I kissed her. "I love you, Jane Rizzoli."

But when she parted, I saw doubt in her eyes. And it ignited the detective in me to life.

I had less than twenty four hours to figure out what Maura was hiding from me.


	8. Chapter 8

N: An update! I know it's been a minute, but i was busy getting my latest book published. Two Shades of Blue is now available on amazon under my penname Sydney Gibson. So head over and give it a read! It's available on kindle, kindle unlimited and hard copy. I'm also doing a few signed copies if you're interested. Just DM me and i'll give you details.

Anyway, here's the next chapter and it gets a little steamy. I hate writing smut so i apologize if this falls flat. I also think the next chapter might be the last, we'll see. So read on and enjoy!

* * *

 **Jane**

"I fired Pike three months after you left. He filled in for me while I was out for a conference and obliterated a crucial piece of evidence." Maura sat next to me, spinning her wine glass. "He thought the stomach contents were nothing more than a last meal. Never once thought to run a toxicology screen where he would've found the victim was poisoned with the same cleaner her husband used on his car."

I chuckled. "Pike's ego was always bigger than his skill." I reached over to collect her empty plate. "How did he take you letting him go?" Dinner had been full of our easy conversation. Maura had been sharing stories about home. The strange cases, the silliness of Frost and Frankie, and how Ma had pretty much fully adopted Maura as her own. It was great to see Maura ramble on like always and eat more than her weight in gnocci. I missed this and craved to have it every day. Why had I walked away from this?

Maura blushed, half looking up at me. "He didn't have a chance to speak. Frankie calls it the Hurricane Maura day. I lost my temper after digging through a medical waste bin to retrieve the stomach contents. Frost and Frankie said they could hear the angry click clack of my heels all the way in southie." She sipped the last of her wine. "I asked him to leave immediately and had Susie mail his belongings back to him. I also wrote the Governor to ensure he's banned from working in the commonwealth ever again."

"Geez, Maura." I raised my eyebrows in mock shock. "You've always had the patience of a saint and beyond"

She nodded. "I did. But I was still reeling from your sudden departure. It was hard for me to compartmentalize all of my emotions." She smiled. "Pike was the only victim."

I stood and walked to the kitchen, speaking over my shoulder. "I hate to say it, but he deserved it. The man has been a walking disaster for years. An egotistical disaster." I began rinsing the plates in the sink. "Frankie or Frost never told me that story. When they called, and I could answer, they always discussed the weird cases and how you always saved their asses at the end with a critical piece of science."

"I asked them not to tell you."

I paused at how soft Maura's voice was.

"I politely requested they not say anything to you about me." Maura's voice was closer and I could feel her standing behind me. "I didn't want to drag them into our mess. But I failed."

I turned to face Maura. "They're your family and friends just as much as mine, Maura. The only reason that kept me afloat when I left was knowing you had them. I knew you'd be fine without me as long as you had them."

She shook her head. "I'll never be fine without you, Jane." She sucked in a slow breath. "I was offered a position in Brisbane. A lead medical examiner at the institute for forensic medicine. It's mainly why I'm traveling to Australia. My final interview is next week, and my resignation letter is sitting in my bottom drawer. I just have to call Susie when I accept the position and she'll deliver it to the Governor."

I clenched my jaw. "That's what you're hiding." I whispered the words out and turned away from Maura. "So, you're leaving Boston and the department?"

She nodded, take a step away from me. "I wasn't hiding it. I was nervous to tell you, but you have had your detective face on all evening." She sighed. "I have intentions of leaving Boston, yes." Maura looked at me with wide hazel eyes. "I'm not who I was. I don't know who I am anymore and everywhere I looked, I saw nothing but missed opportunities. Missed chances to live for myself and not constantly fit myself into the boxes everyone set out for me. Maura the brilliant doctor. Maura the awkward friend and sister by proxy. Maura the future trophy wife." Her eyes filled with tears. "The only time I ever felt I could breathe and not be a cyborg, was when you were by my side. And now." She paused as a tear rolled down her cheek. "And now."

"And now I get my shit together and realize what I want was always standing right next to me." I reached for her hand, sighing internally at how warm it was in mine. "I never want you to fit into a box. Not for me, not for anyone." I bit my lip. I didn't want her to go to Australia. I wanted her to stay with me. I didn't even want her to leave this apartment. But I'd been selfish enough and she was right. Maura had spent her entire life always being the person others expected. She rarely ever did anything she wanted. "I want you to go to Australia. I want you to take that job. I want you to be happy."

"What about us? This?" Maura looked down at our hands. "You have a life here. You're job. I couldn't ask you to give it up for me."

"And I couldn't ask you to give up your dreams for me." I tugged her closer. "We're certainly in a pickle."

Maura scrunched her brow. I laughed, running my fingers over the lines. "It's a saying, Maur." I leaned forward and kissed the same spot. "Why don't we eat the cannoli's I made and spend the rest of the night just being us? Tomorrow will bring what it may. I'm not worried. Fate seems to always have a way to bring us back together."

She smiled, leaning into my arms. "I'll leave you the number to the Isles private airline. Call whenever you want to see me. I'll come to you, or you can come to me." She let a soft sigh. "I love you."

I grinned, kissing the top of her head. "I love you." I wrapped my arms around her, hating that we were about to be separated once more. "This time I'll be sure to say goodbye."

Maura mumbled against my shirt. "You better."

* * *

XXXX

 **Maura**

Jane was struggling to stay awake. Her head kept bobbing every three seconds as she tried to focus on the movie we were watching. The empty plate that once held three cannoli's sat on her lap. A combination of endless hours at work and filling her body with carbs and sugar, Jane had sent herself into one of her food comas. I'd been watching her for the last hour, absorbing the beautiful enigma that was Jane Rizzoli. She surprised me at every corner and I was never more in love with her than I was in this moment. She had changed over the last year, all for the better and I was grateful to have her back even if it was for a few more hours.

I stared at her for a moment, biting my bottom lip until I leaned over and kissed the corner of her mouth. Jane woke up, blinking rapidly as she grabbed the plate before it fell to the floor. "I'm sorry. This has been a long week." She yawned turning to look at me. "You okay?"

I nodded as I leaned over once more, kissing her on the lips. I leaned back. "Jane." I watched her pupils dilate at the sound of my voice and I knew what I was doing was the right thing. I'd been fighting the urge to be physical with Jane for a day. But over the last hour as I watched her sleep and let the feeling of her unconditional love sink into my heart, I itched to touch her. I itched to peel her out of her clothes and see if my dreams matched reality. I knew deep down this urge was seconded by the fact I was leaving in a few hours and I had no idea when I would see Jane again. I had to seal my love, my desire to let her know I was hers and she was mine. The urge was spontaneous but felt right. I loved Jane and I was tired of always wasting time and keeping my feelings secret. Now was the moment.

I wanted to make love to Jane.

"Maur, are you okay? You have that hazy look you get when you want Korsak's glazed doughnut." Jane licked her lips.

I nodded, moving to sit right next to her. I kissed her harder and melted when I felt her hands fall to my shoulder blades and grip them. I parted from her lips. "Jane. I need you." I moved closer until I was half sitting in her lap, soaking up the warmth radiating from Jane. I let it flood my body with a million sensations, encouraging me to follow through. I wanted Jane and I knew if I waited any longer, this chance would be forever lost.

I kissed her shoulder before moving to her neck, watching Jane visibly swallow as she let me. I smirked, kissing as I ran the tip of my tongue along the soft skin of her neck. I felt Jane's breath catch when my lips moved over her neck. My fingers running slow circles across her stomach. God, her skin was so warm.

I continued to move my kisses down, over her shoulders as I pushed her shirt up. Watching the goosebumps rise from where my lips had been. I couldn't get enough and kept on. I moved my hands from her stomach and back to her sides, holding her steady as she sat up to remove her shirt. I winced when I saw the new scars on her body and drew my fingers across them. "Jane." That's when I heard my name fall from Jane's mouth in a whisper. I swallowed hard, kissing each of her scars, whispering against her skin. "I want all of you."

Jane reached down with both of her hands, looking into my eyes. Hers were glassy, and full of so much emotion like many of the days we spent together. Both ignoring our feelings but silently acknowledging them. It made my heart swell now that I understood it was the look of pure love.

Jane gently held on to my face as she searched my eyes, her face flush with desire. "Maura, are you sure?" It was a question with a hint of struggle behind it. I raised my hand up, resting it on the side of her neck, feeling she was struggling as much as I was. We were one step away from changing our friendship, our relationship, forever.

Bending forward, I brushed my lips against hers, murmuring. "Very sure."

Jane groaned and kissed me hard. Her hands cradled my jaw as the kiss increased. Her tongue ran over my bottom lip, asking for more. I opened my mouth and dropped my hands to her side, moving to reach for her bra, when she pulled back suddenly. Jane licked her lips and held my gaze. "Trust me?"

I tipped my head, hoping she wasn't about to stop this. Then it struck me, Jane wanted to do this right. She wanted to show me, take her time. When I looked in her eyes, I saw she'd been waiting as long as I had for this moment. I smiled, nodding as I pressed my hand against her chest. "With my heart."

Jane swallowed hard, her voice raspy as she spoke. "Then let me."

I let out a shaky breath as her hands moved to the old Patriots shirt she let me borrow for the movie. Grabbing the hem, Jane pulled it over my head and threw it to the floor, she removed my bra and stopped to stare at my naked breasts. "You're nothing like I imagined." My cheeks flushed and I went to cover myself, when Jane grabbed my wrists. "No, don't. You're perfect. Beautiful." Jane suddenly stood up, taking me with her as I instinctively wrapped my legs around her. "Bedroom. We can't do this on my couch."

Jane carried me into her bedroom, laying me on the bed before she hovered over me. She bent down and as our mouths met in a slow yet feverish pace, she wrapped an arm around my side to pull me and press against her warm skin. I ran my hands over her back, unclasping her bra and pulling it away, moaning against her mouth the second I felt her breasts against mine. "Jane."

She pulled back, searching my eyes for any sign I didn't want this. I let out a shaky breath, lifting a hand to her collarbone, drawing fingers slowly down to her bare breasts. "Perfect, absolutely perfect." I pushed forward, silently giving Jane permission to do whatever she wanted. I was too far gone to want to stop. I had no idea what I was supposed to do. I just knew I wanted Jane's hands everywhere.

She smirked when she heard the quiet sighs desperation, moving her hand to brush the underside of my left breast. She distracted me by running her thumb over a nipple. I gasped as I felt the delicate roughness of her hands and pushed into it. My eyes slamming close as I felt her breath move closer to my neck and back away. Jane was teasing me, driving me to the edge.

I went to open my mouth to tell her to hurry up, when I felt the tip of her tongue swirl around my nipple and then cover it completely with her mouth. I blew out a convoluted mixture of groans and moans, reaching up to run a hand through her hair.

I tangled my fingers into soft brown hair and held her against me. Biting my lip and pushing into her mouth. Feeling the familiar pressure build between my legs, I knew I was beyond aroused and close to orgasm. I had to keep biting my lip to hold back, I wanted to make this last.

Jane's hand left my breast and trailed down to the top of my pants. When her fingers flicked open the button, she pulled away from my mouth, making me whimper in frustration. I was two seconds away from coming just from her mouth on me. I frowned, looking down at Jane smirking. Her brown eyes were full of desire, giving me a look that told me I would have plenty of time to touch and explore her body. But for now, Jane was on a mission. I nodded, pulling my hand free from her, I lifted my up my hips as she pulled away the pants and throw them in the corner of the room.

Jane moved over me again. Forcing me to lay back on the bed, she laid one hand on my stomach, bending to place delicate kisses on my sternum. Moving up my neck and to my chin she paused, hovering over my lips as she looked in my eyes. I went to reach for her head to pull her back down to kiss me, touch me, anything. I was starting to writhe under her, searching out any skin to skin contact that would bring me closer to release. "Stop teasing me."

Jane bent down, brushing her lips over mine whispering as her hand moved to between my legs and covered me, "Let me make love to you, Maura." She pressed her palm against the thin pair of underwear I wore, groaning out a curse words as she felt how incredibly wet I was.

I almost came again hearing those words and feeling her hand but forced my body to wait. I held her eyes, nodding once that I understood, trying so hard not to push down on her hand and let Jane take over. She smiled, brushing her lips over mine as her fingers pushed the thin material of my panties out of the way. Kissing me as her long fingers ran along delicate aroused skin, making me pant at how incredible it felt.

I never had a lover be so gentle, so slow, nor did I ever submit to one like I was with Jane. Jane was the only one ever, now and after. I knew there would never be another like her in my life.

Jane continued her slow kisses until I nipped her bottom lip, trying to tell her that I needed more. She parted from my mouth a millimeter and as I tried to move up to kiss her, I felt her fingers glide into me. Pulling all the air from my lungs. My hips bucked up on their own. I had seconds before the strongest orgasm I ever had, hit me. Jane waited a moment before slowly drawing her fingers in and out, her mouth hovering inches over mine sharing the same air I breathed out.

I closed my eyes, wrapping my hands in the blankets around me. I couldn't focus, I was so overwhelmed by Jane's fingers and what they were doing, that I could barely breathe. She picked up the pace and when she pushed up, I came hard and fast, catching us both by surprise as a loud strangled moan fell from my mouth. I literally saw stars and fireworks as my body rode out the wave of pleasure that went all the way down to my toes. I laid a trembling hand on my chest, checking to see if my heart was still beating.

Janes fingers brushed away a few strands of hair. "Are you okay?" She ran her eyes over my face, a look of mild concern on hers.

I laughed, covering my eyes with the back of my hand. "God yes." I laughed once more. "My brain is just over firing from the chemicals being released from my orgasm. I'm, as you would say, short circuiting."

I heard Jane laugh as she snuggled into my side, kissing the side of my neck. "So I did good?"

I turned to look at her, to exhausted to fight her bad grammar. "Yes, you did good." I leaned over, kissing her as I ran a hand down to her breasts, pushing her to lay on her back as I laid on top of her. "But can you do me one small favor?"

Jane's eyes were locked on my breasts pressed against hers. "Anything."

I slid my hand across her stomach, past the waistband of her jeans and groaned when I felt how ready she was for me. "Take your pants off."

Jane literally picked me up, set me to the side as she scrambled to tear her jeans and underwear off before she fell back on the bed, pulling me to lay against her. "Done."

I laughed, burying my face into her neck while my hands explored the newly exposed skin. "And in record time." I looked at Jane, kissing the top of her breast. "Do you trust me? And love me?"

Jane smiled. "With everything I am."

"Good." I kissed the bottom of her chin before I moved down her body and showed her how much I loved her.

* * *

XXXX

 **Jane**

I woke up when my downstairs neighbor's door slammed shut. I yawned, stretching out sore muscles with a grin. The smell of fresh coffee poured into the bedroom. I rolled over to find the other side of the bed empty. Maura's perfume still lingered, and I couldn't help but grin once more as I got up. I was sore, but happy. Maura and I had spent most of the night making love before I passed out wrapped in her arms.

I'd never had a night like that in my life. Making love and feeling complete the next morning. Normally I felt awkward or indifferent, eager to send my date out the door before I got ready for work. But as I threw on clothes, I was ready to start this day with Maura. She was incredible, perfect and I was half tempted to quit my job on the spot and go with her. Maura had ruined me in ways I never imagined, I also wanted to ask her where she learned how to do a few of the things she did to me last night. I was starting to wonder if my brilliant doctor was a closet sex goddess.

Running a hand through my messy hair, I walked out into the kitchen. "Maura? I could've made the coffee." I yawned once more. "I want to drive you to the airport, but can we get breakfast on the way? You ran me ragged." I had plans to lay it all out to her over eggs. When she was done in Australia, and whatever her decision was, I'd follow or do my best to follow. If it was moving to a foreign country, or packing up to go home, I was going to do it. It was time I settled down and stopped running. It was time to make up for all the time we wasted and be together. I wanted a future with Maura. I grinned as the random idea flitted across my brain, I wanted to marry Maura.

I stopped in my tracks as I entered an empty kitchen. The coffee machine had a full fresh pot and on the small island sat an empty coffee mug, a pink pastry box and a note with my name on it.

I felt my heart tumble into my stomach as I walked over and picked up the note. I opened it to find Maura's delicate handwriting.

 _Jane._

 _I couldn't bear to wake you up and say goodbye. If I did, I knew I wouldn't leave you._

 _I love you so much. An after last night I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you, but you were right. I've never done anything other than what I'm supposed to. My flight will be in the air by the time you wake up. Everything has changed, I know that. But please understand, I'm not leaving you. My heart is with you and I'll be coming home to you soon. I just need to take care of the things I arranged long before a car accident brought you back to me._

 _I love you, Jane._

 _I'll be home soon._

I set the note down, peeling open the pastry box to find she had left me all of my favorites.

I slumped on the stool, picking up a chocolate sprinkle doughnut, biting into it. I was upset, scared, and more in love with Maura than I ever had been before. I knew the note wasn't a goodbye, it was more of a will you wait for me? I was torn between racing to the airport and chasing her or waiting until she came back.

I sighed, shoving more doughnut in my mouth. "Think, Rizzoli, think." I shook my head and walked to the coffee table where I left my phone. Frost would know what to do. Frost always had the sense I lacked when it came to Maura.

As I reached down to grab my phone, I spotted Maura's wallet sitting next to the remote. She had taken it out to show me a picture of last years intramural softball game between the crime lab and the vice squad. I picked it up when the pendants I gave her slipped out and hit the tabletop with a clatter. I smirked as it hit me. I flopped down on the couch and called my Captain, requesting my three hundred hours of vacation time be honored starting Monday when the blackout was lifted.

When I hung up on him, I grabbed my laptop and began searching flights to Australia as I called Frost to fill me in on Maura's exact itinerary for her trip. I knew she'd leave a copy with him in case of emergency.

"Jane. What did you do now?" Frost answered with sarcasm.

"For once, nothing. I just need your help to sneak me into a country without anyone knowing. Including Ma."

Frost paused before laughing. "I'm emailing you her itinerary now. She should be arriving in Brisbane in twelve hours. If you leave tonight you'll be able to surprise her as she's leaving her conference on skin purification at the Queensland Forensic Institute." I heard a few clicks of a keyboard. "Just make sure one of you pick me as the best man."

I rolled my eyes as I opened the email Frost sent. "Yeah, yeah. You, Frankie and Korsak can fight over it."

"Hey Jane, I'm glad you're doing this. She's worth it. You're worth it." His voice softened as I ran my finger over the small mark she left on my collarbone last night.

"Yes she is."


	9. Chapter 9

**N: Short ending, but it might make you happy! I know this took a minute to get up, but the holidays are a rough business to find time to write. Enjoy! I may be back later to write more of the girls before I embark on the next novel. If you're interested, my latest novel Two Shades of Blue is available on amazon under my pen name Sydney Gibson! Get it while it's still hot and you can bury under blankets and read away!**

* * *

The Australian sun was hot, bright and soaked through my linen blouse in seconds. It felt amazing on my skin as the heat was far different than Los Angeles. It felt less hurried and more comforting as I walked the grounds of the Forensic science institute with the Lead Medical Examiner, Darla.

"As you can see, we have state of the art equipment and often receive new innovative equipment to test and use in a practical setting." Darla's thick accent was soothing. "We have everything you'd need, Dr. Isles."

I smiled softly. "I can see that." Yet, not everything I needed was here.

It had been one week since I left Jane sleeping with a smile on her face. The moment I landed, I set upon meeting with everyone I had interviews with to politely decline their offer. I had finalized my feelings on the long flight over and decided I would be spending the rest of my leave with Jane in Los Angeles. I'd work on building our relationship and then see where our love would take us. I was willing to go wherever she desired as long as I could be with her.

But I had yet to hear from Jane. Just a simple text mid-flight around the time she would be waking up. No calls, emails, messages. I had a sinking feeling Jane was now regretting her decision to be with me. That it was impossible for us to be together. That the few days together were a mistake born out of long buried feelings, leaving a heavy hangover filled with regret. I loved Jane, wholly, but I knew she struggled with feelings and accepting them. Especially one as strong as love. Love had always led her to be weak and knowing the woman, she wouldn't allow weakness anywhere near her heart.

"Dr. Isles? I'd love to show you the teaching facility. I believe there's a class in autopsy theatre now. We can observe them, and you can get a taste of the educational side of our institute." Darla broke my thoughts as she laid a hand on my shoulder. "Then afterwards we can take a lunch break. There's a café at the corner that's a favorite of the staff."

I nodded, brushing back my hair as the warm wind caught it. "That all sounds lovely." I waved for her to take the lead as I began asking about the institute's benefits package. I titled my face up towards the sun, letting the warmth ease away the cool chill sinking into my spine.

* * *

"This place, this city is so charming and welcoming." I looked around the street where the café sat. They were bustling with life, young and old. It was a far cry from the hurried bustle of Boston. Everyone felt at ease, even in the rush. It could be the sun was always shining and the large doses of vitamin D kept the blues away.

"It is. The housing district we recommend is in walking distance of the city center. We also have a discount with the building and most of the staff and your future colleagues will be neighbors." Darla grinned sipping her water. "The forensic institute may deal in death on the daily, but we don't let it kill our social lives."

I smiled, picking at the fresh pear salad in front of me. "You're doing quite the hard sell, Darla."

"You're a world renown forensic pathologist. The work you've done in Boston and with the FBI has left you a step away from legendary status. Of course I'm doing the hard sell, Dr. Isles. Our institute would be honored and incredibly lucky to have you on board." Darla reached into her briefcase and pulled out a large packet and set it next to my salad. "Inside is our formal offer. It has a handsome salary, benefits package, housing allotment, and a stipulation that you may continue to consult on local and international cases that may come your way. We want you here, Dr. Isles, but we also want you to continue your incredible work." Her phone rang, she glanced at the screen. "Excuse me, I need to take this. Please look over the packet and pepper me with questions when I return."

I kept my professional smile as Darla left the table. I picked at my salad once more before opening the packet and looking over the details. This had been the last interview I had before the rest of my leave took effect. I had full intentions of declining Darla but teaching a seminar as a professional courtesy. But now as my doubts and fears swarmed over me, my mind was whispering that maybe I should take this job and start completely over.

I flipped through pages. The salary was a handsome offer, almost twice what I was making in Boston even with the conversion rate. All of the benefits and bonuses were hard to ignore. They had included realtor information and a incredible large townhouse that was filled with old charm and modern conveniences. I began to picture myself living in the front room next to the massive library. Reading over medical journals and sipping coffee from the coffee shop across the street.

"Can you tilt the page a little to the right, Maur? I can't see if the bathroom has a claw foot tub."

Her raspy voice ran through my ears and chased the chill from my spine that had lingered since this morning. I swallowed hard, afraid to look over my shoulder as I shifted the page to the right.

Her hand moved and took the page from me as she drug her chair next to mine. "It is a claw foot. And there's central air conditioning. I hear that's quite the luxury in this country."

I turned to Jane leaning over the pages, her hair pulled back in a loose ponytail and I could see her squint under the black aviator sunglasses she wore. She continued to read as she absently picked up my iced coffee and took a sip, wincing. "Needs more sugar."

As she reached across me for the sugar packets, I grabbed her wrist. "Jane?"

She grinned, pushing up her sunglasses with a grin. "Maura?"

I shook my head, confused. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I stopped at the front desk of the institute. There they told me you had gone to lunch with the HR director and they sent me over here. I sat behind you just as you called Darla out on giving you the hard sell." She chuckled. "And to think I never thought you learned anything from me." She pulled her wrist free from my grasp, winding her fingers in mine and squeezing.

I shook my head. "No, that's not what I meant. What are you doing _here,_ Jane? Here in Australia? Here in Brisbane? I haven't heard from you and thought…" I huffed in mild frustration at my own scrambled feelings.

"You thought I got scared again." Jane nodded, running her thumb over my knuckles. "I did until the nice flight attendant slipped me a few bottles of whiskey. I've never been on such a long flight and I got antsy." She looked up. "It took me a week to book the flight, negotiate getting a substantial amount of time off with LAPD. I had to call in a multitude of favors and then the jet lag. Frost was right about sleeping on the airplane. But I couldn't and came right here the second I landed. I'm running on two hours of sleep and seven large coffees." Her brown eyes sparkled with Rizzoli mischief as she dug in the front pocket of her thin blue button down. "You forgot these on my nightstand." She turned my palm face up and placed the two pendants in the middle. "I saw them the morning after we um… and realized I never wanted to be apart from you. Relying on two pieces of silver to keep me close." Jane's cheek flushed a bright red at the mention of our night together. "I'm here because I missed you. I love you, Maura and I'm tired of wasting time and allowing a bunch of miles to keep me from seeing you every morning and kissing you goodnight." She covered my palm with hers. "But this job offer is too perfect for you to pass up."

I swallowed hard as a tear slipped down my cheek. "I was going to tell them no."

Jane shook her head. "They have everything you'd ever want, Maura! The science, the equipment, the unusual death by crocodile cases you craved back home. I don't want to hold you up. I came here to spend time and start a relationship. I can be a cop anywhere. I can make coffee and be a barista."

I leaned over, silencing her ramble with a kiss. I grinned when Jane leaned into the kiss before I parted. "They do have everything Dr. Isles wants. But I, Maura, want you. And I'd never ask you to endure the horrors of making coffee for those you once ticketed for littering." I ran a hand down her cheek, smiling at the soft sigh falling from Jane's lips. "I only want you." Jane's cheeks flushed bright pink again.

"And I only want you, Maura." Jane sighed. "We're quite the pair. What do we do now? I have three weeks of vacation before I have to go back." She met my eyes. "Or I can stay here. I finally figured out home is where you are, Maura."

I sniffled at how incredibly romantic Jane could be when she shed all of her steel walls and opened her heart. "We'll figure it out. Just promise me one thing, Jane Rizzoli."

"Anything for you."

"Cut back on the sugar." I grinned as she groaned, leaning over to kiss her solidly.

* * *

XXX

 **Jane**

I could hear Ma through the door, hollering at Frankie and Tommy. I shook my head as I glanced at the luggage in my hands. I could easily turn back around and change my mind about all of this. It had been two months of perfect silence in the land down under, and here I was rushing back into the center of hurricane Angela.

"Jane, are you okay?" Maura's hand fell to my hip, squeezing as she looked up at me.

I nodded, sighing at how gorgeous she looked with her tan, making her hazel eyes pop like sparkling gemstones. I leaned over, kissing her. "Yeah, just forgot how loud my family is."

Maura chuckled, kissing the bottom of my chin. "They do have a knack for it." She leaned into my side reaching for the door knob to her house. We were back in Boston after a lengthy vacation that turned into a life altering event for the both of us.

We both came to the decision that Boston was our home. It was where we belonged and needed to be. I arranged for a transfer back to BPD and got my old spot back in homicide but as sergeant. It seems my time in LAPD as a supervisor was more than enough than most of the candidates applying and Cavanaugh took me back with open arms. Maura did turn down the incredible offer at the institute but did a seminar with a promise to come back at least once a year to do more. We'd spent the last two months inseparable as our relationship blossomed into something I never imagined to be possible. I was in love with my best friend and everything fit perfectly. Yes, we still bickered and had disagreements, but those lead to cuddling or making love through the night. I had found my soul mate and in the last two weeks of our trip, I did something crazy.

The front door swung open, Ma staring at us like we were long lost soldiers coming back from war. She bum rushed Maura and I, encasing us in a smothering hug as she cried and hollered her girls were finally home. I rolled my eyes as she released us and yanked us into the living room where we were met all of our friends, cheering and scooping us up in hugs. I was dragged to the kitchen with Frankie and Frost for a beer while Ma and Nina bombarded Maura with questions about Australia.

I sighed, taking a huge drink of beer when Frankie grabbed my left hand. Spilling some of the beer. "Janie! Janie is that what I think it is?"

I grinned, turning my hand so Frost and Frankie could see the diamond and platinum band Maura had given me. The words _Forever my home_ engraved inside. "It is."

I felt my heart swell as Frankie glanced at Maura. "I always wanted another sister." I saw the tears in his eyes as he slugged my shoulder.

Frost slapped me on the back, clinking our beer bottles together. "Is this why you called me at the ass crack of dawn to overnight your grandmother's engagement ring?" I nodded as the three of us stared at Ma blithering to Maura.

"We were married two weeks ago. Our honeymoon is next weekend. We're going up to Maine where Maura bought a cottage." I grinned as Frankie began the countdown until Ma realized what was sitting on Maura's left hand. "It's crazy, but I love her so much. It made sense."

Frost chuckled. "Jane, everyone around you thought you guys had been married for years. I'm just happy it's official. Bummed I missed the wedding, but so happy you finally did it."

"We're having a party this weekend to celebrate with you guys. That is if Ma doesn't go nuclear." I nodded as Ma's eyes drifted to Maura's left hand and we all fell silent. Frankie leaned closer to me, whispering. "Three, two, one."

Ma grabbed Maura's hand and yanked it up into her face. "JANE CLEMENTINE RIZZOLI! WHY IS MAURA WEARING NONNA'S RING!"

Maura turned to me, her face turning a whiter shade of pale. Silently begging me for help. I set my beer down and walked over to the two women. "Ma, you're scaring my wife." I saw the pieces fall into place as I moved closer, delicately freeing Maura's hand, pulling it up to kiss it. "I gave her Nonna's ring when I asked her to marry me. Nonna gave it to me to give to the one I loved with my entire heart and soul." I leaned over to kiss Maura on the lips before turning to my grinning and crying mother. "It took some time to figure it out, but Maura is it." I looked at ma waiting for the fallout. Instead she squealed with joy and began jumping up and down.

"About damn time, Jane! I always called Maura my daughter hoping you'd take the hint and get off the pot. You two were meant to be!" She grabbed the sides of my face and sloppily kissed my cheeks before doing the same to Maura. I let out a sigh of relief and leaned into my wife as ma ran around the house prattling off how she needed to make a bigger cake and call her cousins.

I was too focused on Maura leaning into me, her warms sliding across my waist to pull me closer. My wife leaning into me as my crazy family got crazier with their excitement.

My wife.

Maura was my wife.

I looked down at Maura. "You're my wife."

She glanced at me, grinning. "And you're mine, Jane."

I chuckled kissing the top of her head. "Who knew a car accident would make me the happiest I'd ever been."

Maura laid her head against my heart. "Our lives have always been tumultuous to say the least. But I wouldn't have it any other way, Mrs. Rizzoli."

"Neither would I, Mrs. Rizzoli." I kissed her once more. "Wait until Ma finds out you took my name, you'll never hear the end of her ranting about having a doctor in the family."

Maura squeezed me closer. "Let's keep it a secret for a little longer. I'm still Dr. Isles professionally, but a Rizzoli forever." She stepped back, taking my hand and leading me into the kitchen where Ma was pulling out baking supplies.

I let her lead me, grinning at how perfect this all felt. And it wasn't a dream I'd wake up from.

This was forever.

The end


End file.
